Because it was the feast of St. Francis of Assisi last Friday, the patron saint of animals, FHM.com.ph came up with a gallery of cute celebrities posing alongside their equally cute pets. We had all kinds of cute snaps, from Empress Schuck's pussycat to Coleen Garcia's cutie pie of a puppy.
But what's interesting is the latter's Instagram photo prompted this comment from one of our avid readers:
That's big talk, username ajbfhm, but we think it's about time we tell you the truth about Coleen Garcia. We've never told anyone this before, but there is a reason why Coleen looks—that's because she's an actual angel! Yep, true story.
Say what now? You want us to tell you all about it? Now stop whatever it is you're doing, grab yourselves a drink, and brace yourselves for a great read: This is the story of how Coleen was brought into this world.
Once upon a time, in a bedroom not very far from where you live, a boy named Timmy said his prayers to The Man above. "Oh dear sweet Lord, when will my dream girl come to life?" asks the boy. "Please, please, please send her down here for me and mankind's sake. Oh, and if You do, please name her Coleen, so I would know who she is when I meet her." Li'l Timmy then tucked himself to bed and went to sleep with a smile on his face. Little did he know that heaven was all ears that night, and his wish is about to come true. Hang in there, kid.
Meanwhile, in the kingdom of heaven, the angels were busy preparing a send-off party for the prettiest of them all. It was time for Angel Coleen to descend to Earth and provide joy, love, and kilig to all of mankind. Heaven was so hectic that day that the angels failed to realize that a legion of angry demons have entered the pearly gates, eager to Coleen from spreading the love.
Determined to fulfill her destiny, Coleen and her fellow angels engaged in a ferocious battle with hell's mightiest demons. The angels tried their darndest to protect her from harm, but the enemy's numbers were far too great for them to overcome. "Coleen, the only way we can put an end to this war is by defeating the baddest demon in the history of demonkind," an angel tells Coleen. "Go, my darling, leave this to us and defeat the Diablo!" Coleen immediately leaves the fight to face heaven's greatest rival. It was time to put up or shut up.
Without any hesitation, Coleen goes down to the underworld to face the Diablo head on. "How foolish of you to face a monstrous creature by yourself," says the Diablo. "But damn girl, you pretty." All of a sudden, the Diablo develops an infatuation towards the angel. "Dammit woman, what have you done to me? What kind of sorcery is this?" he asks Coleen. "Can this be... love? Nooooooo!!!" Creeped out by what she just heard, Coleen left the premises fully confident that she won the battle.
NEXT: Angel Coleen makes her way to Doppelganger Land
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