NBA rebounding legend Dennis Rodman is known for his colorful hair, nose piercings, teaming up with MJ and Scottie in the late '90s Bulls, and for once dating Madonna.
Earlier this year, he added another "achievement" in his already-crazy resume: becoming the American BFF of North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un, the son of Kim Jong-Il and author of continued nuclear rocket testing in 2013 and the execution of his uncle and his regime's second-in-command, Jang Song Thaek.
Rodman established ties with Jong-Un back in February 2013 when he became the first high-profile American to have gained an audience with the leader. Calling the visit his version of "basketball diplomacy," Rodman went on to assert that Jong-Un has become "a friend for life" after watching a basketball game featuring a few Harlem Globetrotters and North Korean players.
"Ha ha ha! That's the last time you make that joke, Dennis!"
Image from Vice.com
Fortunately for the rest of the world, Rodman was in his best behavior during the trip, and didn't trigger World War III.
This week, all eyes (most especially the American's) are once again on The Worm as he returns to North Korea—this time bringing with him a platoon of other former NBA All-Stars including Kenny Anderson, Cliff Robinson, and Vin Baker and fringe players such as Craig Hodges, Doug Christie, and Charles Smith.
These NBA vets, along with Rodman himself, will be playing an exhibition game on January 8 at NoKor's capital, Pyongyang, in time for the 31st birthday celebration of Jong-Un.
How will this one end? Will Rodman continue to bridge diplomatic relations between the U.S. and North Korea? Or will Rodman transform back to his old, crazy, cross-dressing self and trigger something cataclysmic?
With the colorful Rodman at front and center (and as someone who sincerely believes he should be top three in the voting for the next Nobel Peace Prize), how this whole bizarre setup boils over is something worth keeping tabs on.
Whatever happens though, we hope it isn't one of the scenarios below. World peace is at stake!
1) Longtime NBA nemesis Karl Malone appears out of nowhere and gives Rodman a spectacular DDT. While wearing tight shiny pants, of course.
Image from WWE.com
Why it mustn't happen: Kim Jong-Un might think wrestling is real, and perceive Karl Malone as a threat to his "friend-for-life" and have The Mailman delivered to his final wrestling place, este final resting place.
2) North Korea's version of the Monstars steal the last remaining bit of talent from the former NBA stars, and create a megateam that only Michael Jordan can defeat.
Why it mustn't happen: Because the Philippines have a big enough problem when playing ball against that other Korea, South Korea
3) Have Cliff Robinson dunk again on his own teammate, most especially Dennis Rodman. He did it before to his then-New Jersey Nets buddy, Vince Carter.
Why it mustn't happen: Because dunking on someone sometimes releases the worst in a basketball player. Especially when you're dealing with someone like the quite unorthodox Dennis Rodman, shown below:
The greatest collegiate rivals ever break their four-all deadlock in this season's UAAP Finals
Its solid exterior and reliable safety features are designed for maximum comfort
This is a public service announcement
Take in the view of the city (with a beer in hand, of course)
Welcome to the Vaughnaissance