A drunk walks into a bar, orders a shot and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. “What am I gonna do now? My wife is gonna kill me!”
“Relax," the bartender says, “Give me a P500 bill.” The bartender folds up the bill and puts it in the guy’s shirt pocket. “Tell your wife some drunk puked on you and gave you P500 to have your shirt cleaned.” “That’s a great idea!”
When the drunk gets home, his wife answers the door. “Where have you been?” she asks. “What happened to your shirt?” He tries to put on a sober voice and says, “Relax, honey. Some drunk guy puked on me and gave me P500 to have my shirt cleaned.” The drunk’s wife reaches in his pocket, grabs the money, and says, “There’s P1000 in here!” “Oh yeah, he shit my pants, too.”
-Lazy Dazy, via email
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