Here's to the many #Napolists floating around implicating more and more senators (pati raw ikaw Sen. Miriam?), cabinent members, and congressmen each day: a joint eye-roll rivalling that of Michelle Obama with a monosyllabic "K!"
Not that we don't care; in fact we've grown tired of following this seemingly endless teledrama that's getting cornier with each empty "revelation." We've exhausted all memes and jokes on the pork barrel scam, Dyesebel has grown legs and feet, and Maya has given birth to twins, yet the official #Napolist is still secret, almost a month after Mrs. Napoles herself reportedly gave it to Justice Secretary Leila de Lima last April 21. It's been so tagal we've made our own lists of equally controversial personalities we don't want to suffer the same fate as.
Our good-humored bashing begins below! (Peace tayo guys ha!)
SONGS ANNE CURTIS HAS BUTCHERED
She can buy you and your friends, but not a wider vocal range. It'd be fine if she sticks to low notes, but we've heard that she's also singing Frozen's "Let It Go" and some tracks from the Broadway musical The Phantom of the Opera in her upcoming concert #Annekapal. "Birit kung birit," said Anne, who promised that the concert will be more "exciting." It's okay Anne, we're more interested in your spectacular costumes and dance numbers anyway.
SEN. MIRIAM'S FRENEMIES
She's probably the only incumbent senator who has the balls and the brains for the position. However, lashing out at senators and their sexual preferences isn't emotionally intelligent. But thanks to her intense personality, Senate hearings are always more fun in da Pilipins.
Image from pinoymemes.com
GUYS KRIS AQUINO HAS SCORNED, ERR, DATED
It seems that the "Queen of All Media" is into "mayors"—may-yor relationships last after you blurt out your personal issues.