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Dec 9, 2016
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These days, news websites have become utterly toxic because of the comments section. Whether it's reports on the rowdy state of local politics or even an up-and-coming celebrity, the advent of social media has given everyone full liberty to express their thoughts, no matter how nonsensical or harmful a person's unfiltered thoughts are.

One beat where almost nobody's complaining, though? The NSFW section.

It's news like the ones below that bind the Curious George in each and every one of us. Brush up on the latest developments on the sexual side of the spectrum.


Ass accolade

In this day and age, when the likes of Kim Kardashian and Jen Selter hit it big overnight, an award for the best, um, rear, is rather fitting. Thus Brazil's annual Miss Bumbum pageant.

The sixth edition of the fanny-tastic contest went underway last month in Sao Paulo, with 15 voluptuous vixens—each representing her respective state—butt-ling it out in the finals. In the end, 20-year-old model Erika Canela of Bahia took home the m-ass-ive honor, including £12,000 (around P750,000) and a modeling contract.

By the looks of her prime cut posterior, it's not hard to see why Erika was hailed Miss Bumbum 2016.

What can we say? We like big butts and we cannot lie!


Nucleic nuisance

This isn't your typical sex news, but we had to rub our eyes when we first chanced upon it on our news feed:

Sofia Vergara is being sued by her freaking embryos.

As hilariously absurd as it sounds, it's not an episode of Modern Family, but rather a bizzare episode of the Colombian-American actress' ongoing legal battle with former fiance Nick Loeb.

Apparently, a right-to-live lawsuit was filed against Sofia in Lousiana on behalf of the fertilized eggs-slash-plaintiffs named "Emma" and Isabella." Such measure would give custody to Loeb that will allow them to live and receive the trust fund set up for their welfare.

Sofia's legal counsel said in an statement to E! News that his client, who is currently married to actor Joe Manganiello, "never wanted to destroy her embryos," but instead "is content to leave the embryos frozen indefinitely as she has no desire to have children with her ex."

Wish the Philippines has a law of the same nature so irresponsible parents would think twice before mindlessly dumping fetuses...


Horny holidays

We've had our fair share of tear-jerking holiday commercials...and clearly this isn't one of them.

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Aside from its off-color offerings, Pornhub is known for getting extra-naughty during the yuletide season, especially with promotional materials. This year, their Christmas ad titled Lonely Christmas is camouflaged as a music video for a suggestively altered version of the Franz Xaver Gruber classic "Silent Night," until the closing billboard.

The heartfelt clip just reminds us that you don't necessarily have to be glum even without a companion these cold December nights. You'll surely go incognito after watching this:

Have yourself a horny little Christmas, indeed.

  

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