The Reproductive Health Law was declared constitutional for the second and final time last July 1. It may be the first law particularly aimed at sexual health, but there are definitely other "sex laws” out there we don’t usually learn in school but must know by heart. Because admit it: When we reach that “point of no return,” things can get wild and ugly and downright irresponsible, even legally.
You don't want you to be “Vhong Navarro-ed” or legally killed (oh yes, it can be done) because of your sexual liaisons, right? So we digested these Philippine sex laws for you in non-nosebleed terms! Learn now, responsible manyaks!
THE YOU-CAN’T-GET-HER-DRUNK-AND-TAKE-ADVANTAGE LAW
Are you guilty of this: Inviting a chikababe to “chill out” with a few drinks and hope to high heavens she gets in the mood and finds you a little more “hot”? Ingat lang bro, you could be committing—gasp!—rape!
Rape is defined by the Anti-Rape Law as having oral, anal, or genital sex with a person, or inserting any object (including fingers) into the person’s ass or vajayjay, without the person’s consent.
If she’s unconscious, drugged, mentally troubled, under threat, or too drunk, she could be “devoid of reason” and thus, not capable of giving valid consent. Except of course if she agrees with conviction, like this:
Rape is rape: The law also doesn’t care whether you were drunk as well, if you didn’t know she was drunk, if she invited you to her condo to bring "foods" or make MOMOL, if you’ve done it with her before, or if she's already your legal wife. Mkay?
And just so you know, being guilty of rape can get you a minimum of 30 years in prison (Reclusion Perpetua), where you can, you know, get reciprocated (read: man-raped).
THE YOU-CAN-KILL-YOUR-WIFE-AND-HER-KALAGUYO LAW
If you catch your legal wife in the act of having sex with her kalaguyo, you can actually kill that guy or your wife (or both) and you won’t be jailed, according to Article 247 of the Revised Penal Code of the Philippines. Instead of homicide it becomes a crime of passion where you are understood for being “intense” in such a heart-breaking moment.
However, you will be punished with destierro (somewhat like a restraining order) if you kill either of them. If you cause either of them physical injuries only, you’ll go scot-free.
But here’s the catch: The killing should be out of anger and immediately after the sexual act (a few more hours and it becomes “planned” murder).
THE YOU-CAN-KILL-YOUR-DAUGHTER’S-SEX-PARTNER LAW
Under the same article of the Revised Penal Code, parents who kill the sex partners of their daughters (who are below 18 years old and living with them) immediately after catching them in the act of sexual intercourse will also not go to jail.