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Christmas 2004, I suspect one of the most horrible holidays for my cousins—but not for me! It was the most hilarious! Here’s how it went: we went to a club in Makati upon the insistence of one of my cousins, who said he had been there and it was tops. True enough, it was teeming with women and we were soon on the prowl for someone to take away. An hour later—most of us were by then bored in the car, only one cousin continued with the search—our man came back, “Jackpot ‘to !” he said. We were ready to believe him except there was something strange in the hooker’s name. “You can call me Cheetah!” So we went to a secluded parking lot somewhere in the Fort to partake of this luscious flesh among us. I was unlucky enough to have to wait it out while my two other cousins gave her a go (Cheetah said she could take them both, no problem). I could tell she was sucking them both to the nines, and the boys loved it. When I couldn’t take the anticipation any longer, I crept up on the threesome and took Cheetah from behind. I slid my hand up her smooth thighs, ready to finger her wet snatch. But her snatch felt bizarrely different. There was something in there. Then it hit me—she was a HE! I groped his balls and dick! I was shocked. “T*ng ina mo Cheetah! May etits ka!” I was furious. My two cousins froze in horror. We got rid of Cheetah as swiftly as we could, with no guilt or remorse whatsoever. We had just become the victims of the moonlighting babes of Makati Avenue! But while I did get a feel of Cheetah’s balls, his mouth didn’t end up around my dick so I’m still whole…unlike my cousins. A big HA HA HA to them! Till this Christmas!

Paolo, by email
Illustration by: Mikke Gallardo