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WORDS: AIMEE MORALES

1. In fairness
The Philippines hasn’t hit rock-bottom. Not to Bangladesh, that is, the country that tops the most corrupt country list! It’s so bad there that citizens have to pay their postman to receive mail, bus drivers have to pay the police to let them drive their route (kotong sound familiar?), and victims of crimes have to pay the cops to have someone arrested. Their unemployment rate is about 70%, because crime pays so much better!

2. Food fit for The King
Remember the fat Elvis? Here’s why: The King used to wake up at 5 pm and eat six eggs cooked in butter with extra salt, two kilo of bacon, one kilo of sausage, and 12 buttermilk biscuits—all for breakfast. Lunch is at 10 pm and had two Fool’s Gold—a sandwich which consisted: one jar of peanut butter, one jar of strawberry jam, and two kilos bacon on a baguette. And for dinner at 4am, he had five double hamburgers, deep fried peanut butter, and mashed banana sandwiches.

3. Orgy Porgy
Nobody does the orgy like the Romans! Get this: A vintage orgy starts at breakfast at the fourth hour, lunch on the sixth, and when the 9th hour rolls by, it’s time for cena (evening meal). Back in the day, dinner is a three-part meal consisting of ram’s head pies, stuffed fowls, and boiled calf pastry stuffed with raisins and nuts—and that’s just a third of dinner. They even had slaves to do bulimia for them! Ready for round two?

4. Cognac Maniac
While eccentric North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il keeps his operations secret, he’s been known to be a spoiled dude. Among his thangs: wearing four-inch platform shoes to look taller than his 5’2 height. The Korean leader loves drinking Hennessey cognac priced at $630, or about P28,980, per bottle that for the last ten years, he’s their biggest suki! His yearly Hennessey tab? Nothing short of $720,000. That’s about P33.1 million! Alas, the average North Korean earns $900 annually.


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