For someone who looks like he could kill you with his bare hands, Conan Stevens sure earns a lot of female attention. And he has no idea why.
“That’s something I don’t understand,” he says. “I’ve found that most of the major fans are middle-aged women who have kids and no husband. Maybe it’s an older generation thing.”
It could also be a big-bad-guy thing. He was Vish’ka, the resident Enchantaspeaking big rough guy on GMA’s Encantadia 2016 reboot. He was also Gregore Clegane (a.k.a. The Mountain) in Game of Thrones’ first season.
Off camera, Stevens—who was born and raised in Australia—doesn’t drop his rough persona. That’s really who he is. “Playing gentler characters is just a waste of time,” he says. “Where I’m at, I just need to specialize in one thing, which is Big Bad Guy.”
Stevens—who often rubs elbows with other big guy Arnold Schwarzenegger in a California gym—doesn’t fake sweetness, either, when it comes to women. “I act like a man, maybe too much sometimes. But I’m honest and I believe I’m fair. At least I try to be,” he says.
Unknown to many, it’s Stevens’ dream to become a motivational speaker, inspiring people to grow. And so he takes his first step by explaining to you, clueless men, how to be deserving of a woman’s attention. Listen up.
1) Stop with the fakery
There are too many guys who sweet-talk their way into a relationship. It’s disgusting. If someone doesn’t like you, maybe you need to change yourself instead of lying about who you are. Don’t try to be the girl’s best friend and wait until the girl’s drunk and then take advantage. I see that and I just punch the guy in the head. Don’t be a slime bag.
2) Be practical; do away with the flowers and chocolates
I’m not romantic; I’m no good with any of that stuff. Flowers are just a waste of time and money. In many parts of the world, if you give someone flowers, they’ll say, “What am I gonna do with these? Eat them? How about some money instead?” Providing a secure environment is better than sweets. There’s no need to show your gentle side.
3) Confidence is key
Just be yourself. Clean up. Make yourself presentable. You don’t have to spend a lot of money. Just be confident about who you are. That’s what matters most. People like people who are confident. You don’t even have to be attractive. Vish’ka isn’t attractive. But I’m getting a lot of fan mail from women [because of him].
4) Get smart the old-school way: by reading books
That’s another way to gain confidence. If it’s too expensive to go to school, go to the library, same as I did. I went to the library and read every book on every successful entrepreneur in Australia. I read all the books on real estate, the stock market, and investments. When my library ran out [of books I could read], I ordered books from other libraries until I read every single book in Australia.
5) Make your connections outside of social media
I see so many people spending too much time and too much emotional energy on social media. They start arguing with people. What does it matter? They may just be doing it to annoy you. Don’t feed the trolls. If it’s your mother arguing with you, get involved, but don’t do it on social media. What you should do is to go outside, walk the streets, and talk to someone. That’s better than talking to someone you can’t see or touch.
6) If you don’t have enough money to have a good time, work harder
I taught myself about computers, and then got myself a job working computers at night. I worked security at a pub two nights a week, the rest of the week on computers, I ran a business…I once worked five jobs. Don’t say, “Oh, my job doesn’t pay that much. I can’t afford to go on dates.” Then get five jobs. That’s how to get confidence.
7) Don’t settle for crudeness. Set high standards
Some [fan] letters from women get blocked straightaway. If you can’t properly introduce yourself and if you can’t do away with pretending to be someone you’re not, I’m not going to do anything else with you. So start with the introductions and maybe we can get to fourth base straight off.
Photos by Niko Villegass for Fujifilm
This story originally appeared in the November issue of FHM Philippines.
Some edits were made by the FHM.com.ph editors.