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10 Palaban Lines From A Secret Affair

Another affair movie, another batch of catty one-liners and such
by Gelo Gonzales | Oct 26, 2012
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Barely a month has passed since the John Lloyd-Bea Alonzo-Ronaldo Valdez love triangle movie, The Mistress, set the box office on fire. Around the same time a year ago, we saw Lovi Poe trading lovers with Carla Abellana in My Neighbor’s Wife. In that same year, Anne Curtis proved to be the expert harlot in No Other Woman.


Now, here we are faced with No Other Woman 2 another drama of roughly the same mold: A Secret Affair. The film, which opened last Wednesday, October 24, stars Anne Curtis, Derek Ramsay, and—not to take anything away from Ms.Curtis—an Andi Eigenmann who makes you go “daaaaamn, woman.” Anne and Derek are engaged, about to get married soon. Anne gets cold feet deciding she’s not yet ready to make that big splash, and kind of leaves Derek hanging. So Andi, who’s the kind of girl who must get everything she wants, takes the opportunity to go get Derek for herself. Sparks fly—specifically, the kind meant to set things ablaze.

Speaking of things ablaze, a big part of this sort of movies are the lines designed to light up the other woman, the third party, the home-wrecker in a scathing, humiliating manner. Kind of like a rap battle. Here are ten from A Secret Affair that made us go “ooh, burn.”

1) Anne to Andi: ”Tumigil ka na, kung hindi wawasakin ko mukha mo.”
We say: Witty works but blunt force trauma is beautiful too. And to hear it from someone so angelic? Shockingly nasty.

2) Jaclyn Jose to her husband’s mistress: “Bitch ka lang. Super bitch ako.
We say: Regular, everyday bitches, beware.  

3) Anne to Andi: ”Alam mo saan masarap mag kape? Sa burol mo.”
We say: Right on. Screw Starbucks.

4) Anne to Andi: ”Sana pati ugali, puwedeng i-photoshop.”
We say: The world could use something like that for cropping out oversized egos.

5) Anne after slapping Andi on the Ang sakit ha. Ang tigas talaga ng mukha mo.
We say: Hey Anne, how about you slap our faces next? Pretty please?

6) Anne after doing some sort of kurtina yoga: “Nasa yoga ako, pero gusto kong pumatay ng tao.
We say: Oh the irony.

7) Jackie Lou Blanco during a fight with her husband: “I fake every orgasm.”
We say: Well it’s only the second most emasculating line a man could hear next to “Bili mo ko ng Whisper.”

8) Anne: “Masakit talagang masaksak sa likod ng kahit aspile lang ano? Andi: Sinadya mo ba yun? Anne: Of course not. Kung sinadya ko yun ice pick na ang gagamitin ko."
We say: Burol coffee. Yoga. Smashing faces. Ice picks. What can we say? She’s a woman with quirky interests.

9) Anne after shooting Caladryl all over Andi’s Ayan Caladryl lotion para sa kati mo.”
We say: It’s a scene we might have seen elsewhere before. If you know what we mean. Wink.

10)Kaya mistress, kasi nakaka-stress.”
We say: Sige na nga.


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WORDS BY GELO GONZALES
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