In a galaxy far, far away...well, who knows what the hell is happening over yonder.
All we know is that, in our galaxy at least, the seventh installment in the long-running space opera that is Star Wars (first one came out in 1977!) is totally happening.
Decades after the original trilogy of Jedis, light sabers, The Force, and mind-blowing revelations regarding fatherhood concluded with Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi, the series' chronological step-forward arrives with the currently subtitle-less, Episode VII. Here's a fan-made poster:
(Image from swtorstrategies.com)
Darth Vader a.k.a. Evil Anakin is dead as is the Death Star (thanks, critically overlooked, easily abusable weak point), and three new heroes headline the new trilogy.
The real-life return of the Jedis happens on December 18, 2015, which is still a ways off. Until then? Well, we put our Star-Wars-nerd-guy hats on, as we scour the net for every Episode VII bits and pieces that can makes us scream, "Damn you, George Lucas for reviving our long-asleep boners for light sabers!"
Below are everything we know so far about the new entry into the legendary sci-fi series!
1) Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, and Han Solo are returning!
The venerable trio played by Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford will be reprising their roles for the new sequel. With the new movie being set 30 years since the end of Episode VI, the characters won't exactly look as we remembered them. We doubt Carrie Fisher would be required to wear something akin to these:
(Image via cinemahour.com)
The loudest buzz surrounding the three actors is that Harrison Ford will have "a gigantic role" in the upcoming trilogy.
To prepare for their return, Mark Hamill has been assigned a personal trainer to help him shape up and has been asked to grow a beard. As for Princess Leia, Carrie Fisher's mom has reported that Carrie has lost 40 pounds for the role. Still no confirmation though if the weight loss will mean Carrie will be reprising the slave bikini stint!
The 72-year-old Ford, meanwhile, was involved in an on-set accident last June 12, which caused him to break his leg--thus postponing his scenes for now.
2) One popular robot tandem and Han Solo's furry friend are also on the comeback trail
Luke, Leia, and Han aren't the only trio making a return as Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, and Kenny Baker also reprise their roles in the new films.
Just who are these fellas exactly? They're none other than C3Po, Chewbacca, and R2-D2!
(Image via thisisnotporn.net)
(Image via examiner.com)
3) The guy that directed the most recent Star Trek movies is directing the newest Star Wars movies
The two sci-fi giants comprise one of Hollywood's biggest rivalries, owing to the fact that they both involve laser beams in space, giant ships in space, and typical earth drama in space. Episode VII adds a new kink to this galactic face-off by pirating the director of the Star Trek movies, J.J. Abrams—which is kind of like getting Pat Riley to coach the San Antonio Spurs.
"As someone who has become a late in life Trekkie, I really think there’s room for both these things. It’s funny because Star Trek in some ways informs Star Wars. We did Star Trek…my love of Star Wars, the energy of it and sort of the comedy and rhythm of it I think affected Star Trek. They're such different worlds though. The stories, the characters, the universes. One is sort of our future, much more science based in theory. Star Wars is like a fairy tale that happens to take place in space. They’re very different beasts.”