It’s that freaky time of the year again when girls will loiter in clubs in the tightest/tiniest J-Law costumes (we heard Hunger Games and Mystique outfits are selling like pancakes!), while their beaus try their best not to look so sorry in their second-rate Avengers digs.
But those of you who’d rather leave the kooky characters in the movies and keep the scares within the confines of your lightless bedroom need not fret. Halloween is the perfect time to stay in, curl up under the sheets with your baby-girl, and inject some fear into your mundane lives through a murderous movie marathon. Your annual scream-fest screening schedule follows below as we rate and sort 2014's scariest movie scenes! Keep safe from sharp knives, everyone!
1) The Shag and Slit!
The movie: Gone Girl
This year’s most talked about psychotic romance comes to a literal bloody climax when the coldly calculated Amy Dunne decides to seduce Neil Patrick Harris’s naive Desi Collings into bed for a rough romp. The make-out session turns to murder when she takes a box-cutter to his throat. And after sneaking in a few hard thrusts for some rape-worthy semen, she leaves his limp-dick, lifeless body to endure its fate. Bet you Barney Stinson doesn’t have that move down in his playbook.
2) Running Ghosts?! Kill It With Fire!
The movie: Annabelle
The only thing worse than a creepy specter lingering in the hallways is a ghost that charges at you in full speed. We can only imagine the fright Mia’s character in this dolls-gone-spooky flick experienced when the ghost of a little girl suddenly decides to make a run for it…in her direction!
3) Non-death by Suicide!
The movie: Afflicted
This sly coupling of the found footage and body horror genres is a simultaneously fun and disturbing watch. Best friends Cliff and Derek decide to travel the world one last time in an attempt to fulfill the latter’s bucket list. But After Derek hooks up with a strange woman in Paris, he contracts a mysterious disease that gives him a carnal craving for blood. And when he decides that suicide is the answer to his affliction, he realizes that there are far worse horrors than death.
4) Body Disfiguring Alien Revelations
The movie: Under the Skin
A psychedelically wicked psychosexual sci-fi thriller (okay, take a breath), Under the Skin saw Scar Jo devour the bodies of men as an alien harvester from outer space. Her extraterrestrial exploits come to a halt in the flick’s skin-curdling finale, when her human epidermis is hacked by a wandering pervert. What’s underneath, however, isn’t nearly as attractive as the façade she has gotten too used to.