The world we live in now is a wonderful place. We're given the movies we deserve, TV shows that don't rely on laugh tracks, and video game graphics that only get exponentially better with every release. What a time to be alive.
It's hard not to bask in the sunbeams of intellectual discussion and general "Whoa, did you see that?!" reactions after being immersed in cinematic glories. And because we’re all glued to our phones, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to avoid spoilers and yet so easy to tell everybody that Sgt. Nicholas Brody died in Homeland’s Season 3.
In this era where rappers tweet at nerd billionaires asking for money, how can we maintain grace as we traverse our social media accounts?
There are no written laws on how to talk about finales and plot twists, but there might as well be. Spoilers ruin lives and without at least some semblance of ethics at play, it’s as if Charlton Heston is descending upon a world of chaos each time. If there’s anything that’s certain, it’s that spoilage is a two-way street—you’re either a victim or a perpetrator. Fortunately for both sides, it doesn’t have to be war. Be guided accordingly to keep your friend count up.
If you read the book or comic, shut up.
You read Game of Thrones. Good for you. You’re already better than the rest of us who cannot be bothered to partake in the experience of the written word, so don’t make listicles on why a book or comic is infinitely better than its screen adaptation. Keep these discussions within your book club and out of Facebook where we’re sure only your well-meaning Tita will be clicking “Like.” Movie productions create jobs and stimulate world economy, and some of us are just happy we could experience Marvel in 4D.
Grieve in private.
If someone major dies and there is expected fandom outrage, it would make you a decent person if you refrained from posting about it for at least the next couple of days. The recent arrival of streaming services allows us to watch shows on our own sweet time but not all of us have the luxury to marathon House of Cards or bemoan the deaths on Sons of Anarchy. It doesn’t matter if there is a Pulitzer-quality article on why that dude from The Walking Dead had to die. If you so much as link to it knowing that most of your peers haven’t seen it, you’re a dick. Posting shameless spoilers on social media is the equivalent of telling people walking into the movies how the flick ended.
Live events such as sports are news and cannot be spoiled. Get over it.
It’s too bad that you have to miss the game, but you cannot keep the rest of the world from talking about sports results. Unless you’re watching pro wrestling, sports do not involve plot lines and therefore cannot be spoiled. People’s excitement over sports is impossible to derail and to argue your protection against knowing who won is as maddening as Manny Pacquiao’s opinions on homosexuality.
Just say no to leakages.
Sometimes, scripts, movies, and TV episodes are illegally made public before its scheduled release. You saw The Revenant before it even hit the theaters? Great. You are blessed by the gods! Intellectual property laws aside, it’s a real dick move to distribute any information on leaked materials, especially your crappy, spoiler-y insights.
Self-preservation is key.
If you know something is airing and you find yourself unable to watch it for a good while, do yourself a favor by avoiding Facebook and Twitter altogether. If your enjoyment truly relies on whether something is spoiled for you, then take responsibility for yourself. Throw your phone away and lock all doors and windows for good measure. You can’t expect the rest of the world to stay silent about the same things you have passion for. Life is rough and some parts of the world do not even have access to clean drinking water, so protect yourself and don’t be a brat.