Poor Calvin Harris, his musical heart just got smashed to smithereens by fellow music star Taylor Swift. Harris has become the newest notch in Swift's belt after being dumped by the pop star. To add to his pain, photos of Tay-Tay making out with Loki, (Tom Hiddleston IRL) have just surfaced mere weeks after they called it quits. It's all over social media today.
We feel you, bro. Getting dumped hurts. And being replaced that fast deals twice the pain. What about all the happy times? Were they all for nothing? Apparently, yes, especially when Tay is in full "Irreplaceable"-mode. Queen Bey's words speak the truth.
So, Calvin, brother, how about we help you out? Drown out the pain the best way you can—by listening to great break-up music. Tay's probably doing the same thing right now (you know, before producing her own new set of breakup songs you inspired.)
Cee Lo Green - "Fuck You"
Get angry. You've said your piece. She's said her piece. There are only two words that still matter in the conversation. Get it out there.
Bad Rabbits - "Advantage Me"
Hold your head up. Spare yourself some pride. For some male empowerment, listen to how this Boston five-piece deals with breakups:
"Never running after you girl no way/
Never running after you/
(I'm never running)/
Never running after you girl no way/
Never running after you"
Keep it together, Calvin. KEEP IT TOGETHER. You just lost today's most heartbreakingly pretty pop star, but KEEP IT TOGETHER.
Destiny's Child - "Survivor"
Tay's singing "Irreplaceable" right now. But she ain't the only one who can draw strength from 'YONCE (and Kelly and that other one.)
Postal Service - "The District Sleeps Alone Tonight"
You can't always be all:
Allow yourself some vulnerability too. Feel the pain. Better yet, allow Ben Gibbard to make you feel even sadder. Embrace these lines:
"You seem so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex/
A stranger with your door key explaining that I am just visiting/
And I am finally seeing/
Why I was the one worth leaving/"
Jennifer Lopez featuring LL Cool J - "All I Have"
Okay, we kind of just wanted to include a J.Lo song in here. But in case you want to attempt a last-ditch effort, the noted philosopher LL Cool J might have some words of wisdom for you. Memorize these:
"People make mistakes to make up, to break up/
To wake up cold and lonely, chill, baby, you know me/
You love me, I'm like your homey/
Instead of beef you come hold me/
I promise I'm not a phony/
Don't bounce, baby, console me, come here"
Gym Class Heroes - "Cupid's Chokehold"
Draw strength from a bit of schadenfreude. Travie McCoy of Gym Class Heroes once wrote these words for a girl:
“She’s got a smile that would make the most senile/
Annoying old man bite his tongue/
I’m not done. She’s got eyes comparable to sunrise/
And it doesn’t stop there/
Man I swear. She’s got porcelain skin of course she’s a ten/
And now she’s even got her own song/
But movin’ on, she’s got the cutest laugh I ever heard/
And we can be on the phone for three hours, not sayin’ one word/
And I would still cherish every moment/
And when I start to build my future she’s the main component/
Call it dumb, call it luck, call it love or whatever you call it, but everywhere I go I keep her picture in my wallet like here”
That girl is this girl:
That's taken from the song's music video here:
Calvin Harris - "Girls"
At the end of the day, you gotta listen to your feelings, to your own heart. You gotta silence all the noise, and push away all the clutter. Listen to yourself, Calvin—specifically to your 2009 self when you'd use to sing "I get all the girls, I get all the girls. I get all the girls, I get all the girls."
(Sniff. Such eloquence. Much erudite.)
Watch out, ladies. Calvin's about to revert to his 2009 self!
A Perfect Circle - "3 Libras"
Or you know, you can wallow and just sing this over and over: "You don't, you don't, you don't see me! You don't, you don't, you don't see me!"