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LaVar Ball Says The Darndest Things: 'I Would Kill Jordan 1-On-1'

And the award for worst basketball stage dad goes to
by John Paulo Aguilera | Mar 14, 2017
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You can't blame parents for being proud of their children who excel in sports, especially that one father who gave his son a basketball for his first birthday. But there are times when taking pride in their athlete-kids goes further than simply cheering from the bleachers and rewarding them with pizza after the game.

Meet LaVar, the braggadocious progenitor of Ball Brothers Lonzo, LiAngelo, and LaMelo—the siblings who are taking prep basketball by storm and are set to change the game as we know it. To be fair, he and his wife have done a wonderful job raising their boys as sportsmen: Lonzo is a projected to Top 3 pick in the upcoming 2017 NBA Draft, while high schoolers LiAngelo and LaMelo are currently annihilating everything in their path with their nightly scoring displays at Chino Hills.

The only problem with proud pops here is the way he has been running his mouth recently. Apparently, his idea of improving the stock of his prodigies is to exude an uncomfortable air of confidence and nitpick on the current NBA landscape. Below are some of LaVar's most ridiculous claims that could very well land the Ball family not an NBA contract but a reality show.

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On the greatest basketball player of all time:

"Back in my heyday, I would kill Michael Jordan one-on-one."

(We must have heard wrong.)

"I would just back (Jordan) in and lift him off the ground and call a foul every time he fouls me when I do a jump hook to the right or the left," Lavar explained to USA TODAY Sports. "He cannot stop me one-on-one. He better make every shot 'cause he can't go around me. He's not fast enough. And he can only make so many shots outside before I make every bucket under the rim."

All you need to see is this infographic about him and Jordan that we came up with:

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On how much they want for a shoe deal with his sons:

"A billion dollars, it has to be there. That's our number, a billion, straight out of the gate. And you don't even have to give it to me all up front. Give us $100 mil over 10 years."

For a second there we thought he already started negotiations for their NBA contracts.


On the offspring of a certain NBA superstar:

"Here's the thing, you gotta play the odds and the percentages. There's been a lot of great players, and all of their sons are whack," he told In The Zone. "You got LeBron, it's gonna be so hard for his kids, cause they gonna look at them like, 'You gotta be just like your dad. And after a while that pressure starts sitting on you like, 'Why do I gotta be like him, why can't I just be me?' And then they're gonna be like, 'Aw, you're soft, you're not that good.' Because the expectation is very, very high."

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Somebody show this to LaVar:

On comparing Lonzo to a two-time MVP:

"I have the utmost confidence in what my boy is doing. I'm going to tell you right now, he's better than Steph Curry, to me," he reiterated his stance during a UCLA-USC game. "Here, put Steph Curry on UCLA's team right now, put my boy on Golden State and watch what happens."

In a separate interview, Chef responded (kind of), "I don't want to talk about that. I wish his kids the best, and I know they're going to be great NBA players. That's their job. That's it."

LaVar should take cues from the one-time scoring champion, 50-40-90 club member, four-time All-Star, one-time All-NBA Second Team, two-time All-NBA First Team, and 2015 NBA champion.


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