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FHM’s Lalim-Laliman UAAP Season 77 Final Four Preview

Because the UAAP Final Four starts tomorrow, here's our Quinito Henson-esque slash Cristy Fermin-ish preview!
by Paolo S. Mariano | Sep 23, 2014
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After seeing highly traumatic photos of Jake Cuenca’s caboose on the Internet (which we quickly drowned with this sexy, women-only gallery), we have the basketball deities to thank for turning our attention to the much-awaited UAAP Final Four. We meticulously did the math and we found out that only four teams remain in the chase for the coveted crown and more importantly, a year’s worth of bragging rights.

Just one year after missing the post-season, the Ateneo Blue Eagles are back in peak form, snatching the top spot at the end of the eliminations. They will face the National University Bulldogs, who are hoping to turn the tables and upset the No. 1 seed like what happened to them last season. In the other semis pairing, the gung-ho Far Eastern University Tamaraws will try to unseat the defending champs, De La Salle Green Archers, in what is shaping up to be a pulsating skirmish.

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Final Four action kicks off on Wednesday, September 24 at the Big Dome. So clear your calendars and clean your TV sets. In the meantime, if you have several minutes to kill, here’s our Quinito Henson-esque slash Cristy Fermin-ish preview of the Final Four!

Don’t worry, gentlemen, no male badonkadonk photos here—only pretty courtside reporters!

FINAL FOUR PAIR #1: Ateneo Blue Eagles (1) vs. NU Bulldogs (4)

Season match-ups:

  • 1st rd: 64-60, NU
  • 2nd rd: 76-66, NU

Season Stats:

uaap final four previewWhy Ateneo will win: Because Kiefer Ravena and Mika Reyes are <3. Now that’s out of the way, let’s get serious. The Blue Eagles aren’t the most talented team man for man, but when the going gets tough, boy, they do really get going. It seems like they crave for heart-stopping, makapawis-kili-kili games. Their competitiveness is off the charts. They won’t give up anything without a fight. Down by 19 points against FEU? No worries! Simply put, Ateneo is scariest when the stakes are high.

uaap final four previewPhoto via

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The Eagles have a proven, tough-as-nails core of Kiefer, Chris Newsome, Nico Elorde, and Von Pessumal who aren’t strangers to pressure-packed games. The Loyola boys’ 0-2 record against NU in the elimination round won’t be much of an issue. They’ll just lace up, show up, and play with their blue huevos out. Okay, that sounded quite disgusting. But you get the point.

Notable stat: 15.5 PPG

That’s the scoring average of Kiefer against NU this season. Mr. MVP has had a fairly difficult time putting the ball in the hoop against the Bulldogs. In fact, he recorded his season-low 13 points against—you guessed it, you amazing genius—the Bulldogs. The Phenom shot a horrendous 24.3-percent in their first two meetings: 3-of-20 in the first round and 7-of-21 in the second.

uaap final four previewPhoto via

He can expect the same scrappy, in-your-face defense from Paolo Javelona, Rev Diputado, and even Reden Celda. They can keep in step with him, not bait on shot fakes, force him to take difficult jump shots, and just simply make him bleed for his points. But as we all know, Kiefer likes big moments like Kris Aquino likes to give out free Hummers. Besides, he’s due for a huge game against the Bulldogs.

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NEXT: Why the Bulldogs will win...and the obligatory tweets and pretty courtside reps!

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