While we all pretend to be World Cup-savvy, the most prestigious tennis tournament in the world just started in London yesterday, June 23. And if the only tennis player you know is Maria Sharapova and her high-pitched moans grunts, it’s time for you to learn: The Wimbledon Basics!
If that ain’t cool enough, we also bring you our very own ranking of the sexiest players based on the loudness of their “Ughs!” along with some juicy gossips about their love life and out-of-the-court rivalry.
But first, make sure you’re wearing headphones so your housemates/officemates won’t think you’re watching porn, okay?
What is Wimbledon?
The Championships, The Wimbledon Championships, or simply Wimbledon, is the oldest and most prestigious tennis tournament in the world. It's been held annually since 1877 in London’s All England Lawn Tennis Club (the exclusive club of Queen Elizabeth II, the Duke of Kent, and the Wimbledon champions). It’s the only Grand Slam tennis event still played on grass, preserving the original Lawn Tennis.
What’s Grand Slam?
Also called Majors, the four Grand Slam tournaments are the biggest and most important annual championships in tennis. Why? Because they give the highest ranking points to winners, the highest prize money, and of course, the best media attention.
The four Grand Slam tournaments are:
- Australian Open held in January, played on hard court
- French Open (a.k.a. Roland Garros) held in May, played on clay court (where the ball is slowest)
- Wimbledon held in June , played on grass (where the ball is fastest)
- US Open held in September, played on hard court
Each tournament is played over a period of two weeks. This year, the Wimbledon ends on July 6.
Who are playing?
The only thing you really need to know about this year’s Wimbledon is the spexy (sporty and sexy) top-seeds who are playing!
For tennis noobs: top-seed is just a fancy term for “top-ranked” (use it in your next sporty talk to impress your friends). It’s based on the idea of planting “seeds” in a garden: smaller plants in front, bigger ones behind. The goal is to pit the strongest players in the final match.
Sports jargons aside, let’s rank these players based on their sassy grunts (or shall we say roars)!
Top 6: SABINE LISICKI
Ms. Sabine is German, which leads us to ask:
Is there anything the Germans aren't good at?
You should have seen what this dark horse did in last year’s tournament: She kicked World No. 1 Serena Williams out of Wimbledon in the fourth round! Press play on the video below to view the highlights of their match:
The World No. 69 has been playing well on grass for the past five years though she hasn’t won a single Grand Slam yet. She’s not much of a screamer compared to the top woman on this list, but she can definitely bust a lung or two during crucial stages of a match (go over the latter part of the video above again). But what we really want to say is: She’s really hot!
Top 5: LI NA
If China and Philippines ever get into war,
can we please save Li Na?
Like any (stereotypically) high-achieving Asian, the current World No. 2 and second most marketable player in the world has one goal after winning last January's Australian Open: “The Number One position. This is my goal—to be World Number One,” said the 32-year-old Chinese (damn she looks 22!) in an interview with the BBC.
And just like any pa-demure Asian, she doesn’t scream like Regine Velasquez. Hence, her Top 5 ranking in our grunt-o-meter: