Unlike the other World Cup happening this year, i.e. the FIBA one, FIFA’s 2014 showpiece won’t have any Pinoy participation– but that’s okay when you think of the mauling we’d get anyway.
While our no-visa policy with Brazil means tons of deep-pocketed Pinoy futbol diehards will trek to the football mecca to catch the games live, there’s no reason casual fans like the rest of us shouldn’t know a thing or two about the goings-on at this year's biggest world event...
Hence, FHM's World Cup-for-dummies guide!
(a.k.a. Brazil and the first three nations they'll murder)
Home advantage is a huge plus for the already winning-est team ever, especially considering how hot Brazilian babes are. Young man Neymar is expected to lead the Selecao to victory again–after winning the Confederations Cup over Spain last year–to make it six for the samba boys. Many of the players aren’t household stars like Ronaldo, Ronaldinho and co., but they’re not as distracted by the high life either.
Brazil’s World Cup winning years: 1958, 1962, 1970, 1994, and 2002
Did you know that Cameroon legend Samuel Eto’o is the third-richest footballer in the world after, who else, Ronaldo and Messi? He’s not necessarily the third best in the world though. So yeah, he’s not quite putting the Indomitable Lions on par with Portugal in terms of one man-ness.
Cameroon’s most memorable moment at the WC: When they turned up wearing one-piece (!) kits. Runner up: when they turned up wearing sleeveless kits (!!)
Stars Mario Mandzukic and Luka Modric could both do some damage. We predict a straight up dogfight for 2nd place (and entry into the next round) among the three not-Brazil teams in the group, and Croatia juuuust might pull it off.
Croatia also has bitching jerseys. Group A is officially killing the jersey game this year. We don’t even need Cameroon’s antics.
What their jerseys ironically remind us of: The checkered flag at the finish. A finish Croatia will never see *sniff*
In 1970 and 1986, Mexico reached the quarterfinals. The World Cup also happened to be held in Mexico those years. Since then they’ve been consistently getting knocked out during the Round of 16. This year we expect that to change. Instead, they will not make it out of the group.