Every Monday, all we read about on our timelines are updates about Game of Thrones. "OMG namatay si ____!" or "OMG buhay pa si ____!" If you're not a fan of the show, you might be wondering what the fuss is all about. Ian McShane, a veteran British actor who played a part in it this season dismissively called Game of Thrones a show about "tits and dragons". Well, to be fair, if you're going to use just three words to describe it then "tits and dragons" just might do the job. GoT has become famous for gratuitous nudity, violent deaths, and unexpected plot twists.
But ask anyone who likes it and they will tell you that it's so much more than that. It tells the story of the different families that are vying for the seat of power to rule all of Westeros. The show is based on the series of books from author George RR Martin.
Five books have been published so far and each season on TV translates to roughly one book. And since we're already on our sixth season, it means that the show is free to deviate from the books and chart its own course. If you're late to the Game of Thrones party, or maybe you left somewhere in the middle and want to come back, I've got you covered.
Here's everything you need to know about the major players so far:
The closest thing to a protagonist that the show has is probably Jon Snow. He's the bastard son of Ned Stark who is the Lord of Winterfell. Kung Tagalog movie 'to, siya siguro si Coco Martin. We don't know who his mother is and he's been sent away to the Wall to join the Night's Watch which is a group of criminals, bastards, and ex-convicts with the unenviable task of protecting Westeros from Wildlings (wild people who live North of the Wall) and White Walkers (basically just frozen zombies).
Because of a few unpopular but arguably righteous decisions, he was killed by his own men and his fate has been the subject of much speculation on the internet before Season 6 premiered. Everyone had their own theories about Jon Snow. It turns out that everybody was just reading too much into it. With the help of Melisandre (also known as Ang Babaeng Mahilig Maghubad), Jon Snow comes back to life. He's reunited with his half-sister Sansa and they're on a mission to take back Winterfell from those who took it from them.
As previously mentioned, Sansa is the half-sister of Jon Snow. Kung Tagalog movie 'to, pwede siya sigurong si Bea Alonzo. (Wag ka nang kumontra crush ko yun.) Anyway, Sansa has been unlucky in love. At her young age, she's been married three times already and let's just say that all those unions weren't exactly ideal for her. Para siyang yung ate mo na malas sa boyfriend kahit mabait naman. With her father, mother, and eldest brother all dead, Sansa is the next in line to rule Winterfell. She's determined to take it back from Ramsay Bolton (perfect role for Baron Geisler by the way) which also happens to be the last asshole she was forcibly married to.
Bran is another Stark sibling. He's currently separated from the rest of his siblings which makes you wonder if Taylor Swift was thinking about the Starks when she wrote "We Are Never Getting Back Together." Siguro pwedeng si Zaijan Jaranilla ang gumanap sa imaginary local adaptation natin. When he was young, napilay siya dahil nahuli siyang namboboso kaya tinulak siya sa bintana. Since then, Bran has had the unique ability to "warg," which in the world of Game of Thrones means he can control animals as well as see into the past and the future. It has been hinted a lot of times that he plays an important part in the story because of his abilities but we currently don't know how or why.
You probably read something on your timeline about "hold the door" and you wondered what the heck that means. Well, one of the major moments in the show happened when "Hodor," Bran's enormous but simple-minded friend, sacrificed his life to save him. I won't give away all of the details but all you need to know is I still shed tears sometimes when I'm going into an elevator and someone holds the door for me. It will change the way you feel about doors forever. The show has that effect on you sometimes.
But if you need more clues, here's another one:
Arya is another member of the Stark family but due to certain circumstances, she finds herself in Braavos learning how to be an assassin for the last two seasons from a strange cult called the House of Black and White. Unlike her older sister Sansa, she's a bit tomboyish and has a dark side about her. Sa imaginary local adaptation natin ng GoT pwedeng siya si Sharlene San Pedro. For her final test, she's asked to murder a stage actress but she refuses to do so. And now she's on the run because a member of the cult called the "Waif" is out to get her. She manages to defeat this assassin and is now on her way back home to Westeros.
The internet had a lot of theories regarding the Arya storyline. Some theories even go so far as to suggest that Arya and the Waif were one person. Turns out people were just overthinking and the storyline was pretty straightforward. So Arya says she's going home. But what will she do next? Will she finally be able to join Sansa and Jon? Abangan.
Cersei is the mother of Tommen, the current king of Westeros. In our local adaptation that will most likely never happen, Angel Aquino plays the part. She is currently licking her wounds after being humiliated by the High Sparrow (a militant religious leader who has taken over the capital) and the rest of the city during her infamous Walk of Atonement, wherein she had to walk naked along the city streets. (O, curious ka na 'no?) Luckily for Cersei, she now has the Mountain to protect her and you'd have to be the dumbest person in Westeros to even think about going against this monster.
That's not even an exaggeration because the Mountain is literally a monster made in the lab. And we've seen him do crazy things like crush a man's skull with his bare hands and rip off a man's jaw from his head. Imagine mo si The Rock kumuha ng isang pirasong ubas tapos pinisa. Ganun katindi eh.
Needless to say, the Lannisters and the Starks hate each other and Cersei has been playing the part of the villain since Season One. It's really a testament to the show's writing that we're suddenly rooting for a villain like Cersei. Because of the things we've seen her go through, she now has our sympathy. But Cersei has been uncharacteristically quiet so it's impossible that she doesn't have anything planned for the Sparrows.
Jaime is Cersei's twin brother...who also happens to be her lover. I'll let you process that information for a while. Okay na? Ang tindi dibaaaa? In our made-up Pinoy version, Albert Martinez can play Jaime Lannister. He looks and talks like your typical prince charming if the prince charming from the fairy tales that you read was obnoxious and had a thing for his sister. Jaime is devoted to Cersei to the point that you sometimes forget about the incest that they're committing because it seems so natural. Incest is bad enough, but incest with your twin? You have to really, really love yourself in order for you to want to have sex with a female version of yourself.
He's currently away on a mission that was orchestrated by the High Sparrow. But once the mission is over, Jaime plans to go back to Cersei in King's Landing. What exactly will he find when he gets back? Will he be too late?
Tyrion is the youngest brother of the Incest Twins. Although he was born a dwarf and had to endure the scorn of his own father, he has one of the brightest minds in all of Westeros. Sa local version natin, si John Lloyd ang gaganap na Tyrion pero ikakabit natin sa katawan ni Dagul through CGI. Cersei hates him for many reasons but mainly because she thinks he poisoned his son, Joffrey. So Tyrion had to run away to save his skin and now finds himself in Meereen as an adviser to Daenerys Targaryen.
He loves his wine and his women and if you had to drink and be merry with anyone from the world of Game of Thrones, Tyrion would definitely be your man. For that reason, he's probably one of the well-loved characters on the show and if he dies, mag-o-organize ako ng rally sa EDSA Shrine at ite-text ko kayo kung saan ang meet-up.
She has so many names but to most of us she is the Mother of Dragons. She comes from a long line of kings who have had an affinity for fire and an ability to control dragons. As in literal na may mga anak siyang dragon! Three-time FHM Sexiest Woman Marian Rivera is a perfect fit to play the Queen of Meereen with her feist and sex appeal. Kung na-curious kayo sa "Walk of Atonement" ni Cersei, then feel free to go on Google and search for all the glorious scenes Khaleesi has had so far. You won't regret it.
Daenerys, or "Dany" to those close to her such as myself, was recently being held captive by the Dothrakis, which is a group of nomads on horseback. Insulting the Mother of Dragons is never a good idea and the Khals found that out the hard way when she killed them in a fiery inferno. She now rules over a Dothraki horde with the sole intention of taking back the Iron Throne in Westeros, a title which is hers by birthright.
But what's next for Khaleesi and company? Are her dragons enough to fight off the fleet of ships currently bombarding her city? Can she finally cross the narrow sea all the way to King's Landing and take back what is rightfully hers?
With the next two episodes rumored to have a running time of about an hour and a half, we'll surely have all our answers before the season ends. For those of you who haven't tried the show, now would be a good a time as any to start watching the series and to find out for yourself why everyone's going crazy over it. But I wouldn't be too attached to your favorite characters if I were you.
Damn it, George RR Martin! Stop playing with our feelings!