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Walang Kokontra: 5 Reasons Why We Watch 'Kontrabando'

Now on its third season, News 5's alternative news and commentary program continues to deliver ROFL-inducing episodes to the "mang-mangs of social media."
by Paolo S. Mariano | Oct 22, 2015
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Just in case you’ve been living under a rock—a rock with no free data or Wi-Fi—there’s a news program on the wonderful world of the Internet that’s got people cracking up like charged-up hyenas.

Yes, you read that right. It’s a news program.

Well, almost.

Kontrabando, News 5's alternative news and commentary program, has become an online hit with thousands of views and shares every week. A new episode airs every Friday on Facebook and YouTube. Kontrabando is the antithesis to the formulaic and staid news programs on primetime.

As with most world-changing ideas, it started with a box of pizza.

Kontrabando generally feels like a slapdash project of a group of like-minded friends slash Internet superstars. Parang trip-trip lang. But actually, it stemmed from a stern requirement. Like a school term paper. Only way more fun.

Late last year, the network’s higher-ups gave orders to "make the news younger." The easy antidote was to capitalize on social media. So over pizza one regular afternoon, Kontrabando was conceptualized by the very same people you see on the show plus a few creative minds. The rest, as they say, is history—including the pizza of course.

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Since launching last March, Kontrabando has ransacked and gate-crashed the news industry with its satirical, tongue-in-cheek folly. Now on its third season, the show continues to deliver ROFL-inducing episodes to the "mang-mangs of social media."

As homage to Kontrabando’s popular Top 5 segment, here are FHM's top five reasons why you should watch the show:

5)    TOP 5

Kicking off this Top 5 list is well, Top 5Kontrabando’s brilliantly and appropriately named segment. Obviously, it took years of rigorous brainstorming at NASA and painstaking research at the Library of Congress to come up with the title.

In Top 5Kontrabando counts down the most mind-bending, thought-provoking quotes or sound bites of the week that you won’t hear/see in any other newscast. Off-the-record? There’s no such thing! So to all politicians and pseudo-politicians out there, continue spewing garbage. As they say, there’s treasure in trash.

Here’s a classic example, courtesy of the undisputed champion of cringe-worthiness, Manuel "Mar" Araneta Roxas II:

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Ang fist bump ni Sec. Mar!

Posted by Word of the Lourd TV5 AksyonTV 41 on Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Dapat mag-fist bump sila ni Cong. Leni Robredo


To the ladies out there, forget Derek Ramsay's muscles or Dennis Trillo's looks or Geoff Eigenmann's...well, just forget him. You want men who can make everything fun. Enter Ramon Bautista, Lourd de Veyra, Jun Sabayton, and RA Rivera. When God showered the world with elegance and six-pack abs, they were too busy making jokes.

Their mix of charisma, humor, and cleverness is perfect. They may not be your typical news anchors with perfectly kempt hair and expensive suits, but they get their message across.

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Plus, with the insanely cute Bea Benedicto spicing up the cast, why watch anything else? She’s the cherry atop the Kontrabando sundae. Looking at her will turn your depressing days around. No indecipherable doctor’s prescription needed!


Dahil birthday ni hipag Bea today, narito na ang Episode 28!At dahil naging good boys at good girls kayo, kaya ba nating paabutin sa 15k ang shares nito? Huwag kalimutang ilagay ang #News5Kontrabando mapa-facebook man o twitter.

Posted by Word of the Lourd TV5 AksyonTV 41 on Thursday, October 15, 2015

Fast forward to 14:00 for all of Bea Benedicto’s kili-kili glory 


Kontrabando is, in journalism terms, agenda-setting at its finest. No hackneyed political views, gruesome killings, and life-altering updates on Sharon Cuneta’s weight. If you want the freshest news, profound analyses, and uncompromising views, don’t watch Kontrabando.

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But if you crave for news delivered in a fun and amusing manner, Kontrabando is a smorgasbord. "Padede Girls?" Yes! Haphazard voice-overs? Yes! Two-second flash reports? Yes! Beki sports analysis? Yes! Shallow banter? Yes! Cursing? FUCK YEAH!

Anderson Cooper and Christiane Amanpour are jealous.

BALLS Episode 17

Karera ng mga suso

Posted by Word of the Lourd TV5 AksyonTV 41 on Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Watch out, ESPN!


While most newscasts are fighting over the same politicians and celebrities to guest on their show, Kontrabando doesn’t bother to get mixed up. Instead, the show invites other people that are as relevant and esteemed as U.S. President Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey, and Pope Francis.

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For example: Mystika, Pabebe Mamon Girl, Twerking Traffic Girl, Heneral Luna, and most recently, the controversial Playgirls.


Balikan natin ang makasaysayang pagsasayaw ng Playgirls na sina Carla at Jinky kasama si Epe. May bonus na pa-birthday pa kay Epe sa dulo! #News5Kontrabando #Playgirls #PeterNorthOfTheSouth

Posted by Word of the Lourd TV5 AksyonTV 41 on Monday, October 12, 2015

You can twerk at the FHM HQ anytime, Playgirls

 1)    CUPAL

Atom Araullo is cowering behind his desk as we speak. Generoso Cupal, Kontrabando’s hard-hitting security and counterterrorism expert, makes the ladies swoon and the country’s top reporters insecure. With his no-holds-barred commentaries, perfect intonation, affable looks and of course, unforgettable surname, who wouldn’t get fixated on his Cupal-ness?

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Don’t forget his alter egos too: veteran foreign correspondent Anderson Coopal and the tactless, in-your-face showbiz and culture connoisseur Henri Smëgmann.

If he doesn’t get a Pulitzer or a Nobel Peace Prize, no one will.

HOY CUPAL! Episode 17

HOY CUPAL! Episode 17SONA ni Pnoy? E di wow!

Posted by Word of the Lourd TV5 AksyonTV 41 on Wednesday, September 2, 2015

The best Cupal in history

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