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Roles For You In Case You Find Yourself...In A Telenovela

It's not easy being a <em>teleserye</em> character
by Miyo Sta. Maria | Apr 30, 2013
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Cute Gag Face
So you open your eyes in the morning and find yourself being shaken up by your mom, who seems to be in a panic. Then she explains, in perfect Filipino, and almost scholarly, that a great wrong is happening in your household: Your adopted sister has fallen in love with your family’s mortal enemy, the Salazars.

After sufficiently pausing for a reaction shot, you rush to the Salazar household. Then somehow you already have a bolo (because you’re poor) in your hand, shouting your mortal enemy’s name in front of his ornately designed steel gate. Your prey promptly comes out with a gun, pointing it at you. Still, you face imminent death for the family name. A gunshot rings out and you collapse to the ground. The last words that you hear are your sister shouting that the man she has fallen in love with is your brother. And you’re like, “Whaaaaat?” And then you wake up, for real.

Welcome, my friend, to the world of Pinoy Teleseryes, where plot twists are as perennial as zits on an adolescent’s face: inevitable yet oh-so-good to pop. Unfortunately, you're now dead in that teleserye you just dreamt of, so now you're thinking "I don't want to be some dumb brother who gets shot; what other characters can I play?" Luckily for you, we thought ahead and prepared a number of characters that you can assume so that the producers will let you survive throughout the teleserye's duration.

Choice #1: You Can Be the Bad Boy Love Interest

Behavior: Antisocial and mysterious, your main goal at first is to pick on the main character, quite annoyingly. You're standoffish, and packs a devil-may-care attitude, selfishly motivated by what may bring you pleasure. The viewers will hate you at first but, if you can bear with that, there are certainly rewards. Because at one point, the main love team will require some external tension. This is usually after the initial kilig scenes have stopped being interesting. This is where you come in, Mr. Bad Boy Love Interest. Bring out your jar of tension, open it, and stir up some real love triangle chaos.

Pros: You get paid to be an asshole. Like the leading man, you get to kiss the leading lady, with visibly less effort since leading ladies need a legit bad boy to make leading man feel insecure about his leading man-ness.

Cons: The leading lady will still probably leave you in the end, even after you've shown your good/tender side, and that your "tough guy" act was just a front for something you're burying.

If you're Robin Padilla, however, please disregard all that has been written here, and continue to be the awesome bad boy that you've always been, idol.

NEXT: If being a bad boy is not your thing, you can be a different kind of kontrabida

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