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Jan 24, 2017
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Your girlfriend missed her period. She's done the pregnancy test and it's positive.

Yup, you're still young, but you're going to be a dad soon. Deal with it. You were less diligent with protection than you should have been. Now what?

Of course, the next best thing to do is to let your parents know about the situation. There's no one else who could help you through this most confusing time.

"You have to consider that your parents can provide practical insights or wisdom about the situation. Therefore, consulting the parents about your future plan may also be beneficial," says Dr. Joy-Alvi R. Arañas, RPsy, RGC, counseling psychologist from Pathways Counseling and Assessment Center.

You can't just say, "Ma, Pa, magiging lola't lolo na kayo." You have to determine the right time to tell your parents about the pregnancy to ensure that they have the time to listen to you.

"Proper timing is very important to ensure an open line of communication," Dr. Arañas explains. "Schedule it on the days when they are not in a hurry to make sure that you get their full attention. The location should also be considered when talking to them. Choose a place that is conducive for an intimate conversation."

The best way to break the news is by being honest with how you feel about what happened. You can also start the conversation by expressing your feelings about their possible reactions on the situation.

"Be sensitive with the parents' readiness to listen with empathy. If the parents are preoccupied with other concerns, it would be good to look for another time to talk to the parents. You may also try practicing the right words to say by sharing it to a trusted friend and getting his or her feedback," Dr. Arañas advises.

Prepare yourself with their reaction. No one can really determine if they're giving a positive or negative feedback until that very moment.

"Typically, parents may express their disappointment or frustrations after hearing the news. They may feel anxious or worried about the future. Other possible reactions may also be in the form of anger or sarcasm, numbness, calmness, panic. There are some who assert their parental role by taking charge of the situation," the good psychologist says.

"To avoid or lessen the negative reactions, you should emphasize to them your concrete plan about the situation," he adds.

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It would be helpful if your significant other is around during the confrontation for mutual support. However, you should be ready for all the queries that the parents might ask both of you including your future plans. 

"Talking it out first between the two of you may help you clearly plan for your future," he recommends.

After you tell your parents, you should also discuss the situation to your GF's family. Don't let your gal do this alone as it could be very stressful. Remember: stress can have a negative impact on the baby.

"Being man enough to stand for your girlfriend is also the best way to show your love not only for her but for the future child. If you think there is a need for someone to mediate, you may bring an older family member with you when you talk to your GF's family," Dr. Arañas says.

Dr. Joy Alvi R. Aranas,  RPsy, RGC is a counseling psychologist from Pathways Counseling and Assessment Center. For consultation, you can visit him at 718 Sunday Street St. Joseph Village, Panapaan, City of Bacoor, Cavite.

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