Women pay extra attention to the negative qualities of men more than the positive ones. In other words, even if you have loads of likeable qualities, she would eventually cut romantic ties with you if you have one, glaring negative quality.
That's according to a study published in the Journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin which examined the effect of so-called deal breakers on romantic or sexual relationships. With help from existing literature surrounding the subject, the researchers determined the top deal breakers for people who were weighing potential partners.
In no particular order, these deal breakers are:
- Unhealthy lifestyle
- Undesirable personality traits
- Differing religious beliefs
- Limited social status
- Different mating strategies
- Different relationship goals
According to the researchers, although people think about potential partners in terms of positive traits, "people subconsciously weed out those with undesirable traits from their pool of eligible mates." This means that if even if you've somehow managed to put your best foot forward while dating, if she identifies a negative trait, there's no stopping her from looking for another one who doesn't have that characteristic. If anything, these researchers have shown why mates can easily be turned off during the early stages of dating. At this stage, it's just simply easier to find another partner without that thing that turns her off.
"A lot of times, just by avoiding negative traits, people will probably be fairly well off—maybe even more well off—than if they were trying to optimize the best potential partner," Gregory Webster, one of the researchers, concurs in a press release.
While they were able to identify the top deal breakers in relationships, the researchers stressed the fact that deal breakers could be very, very subjective, too. One deal breaker for one person may not be a dealmaker for another, Webster says. So how do you identify your traits that may break the deal for potential partners? It seems the old, hard way still works best: date around, analyze failures, and work on those weaknesses until you find someone who can actually live with those faults.
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