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My ex-boyfriend left me for an older woman just because he was “stressed out” with everything, including me. The jerk. So I got even. Two weeks after our breakup, I went to his pad pretending to just bring his stuff over. The moment he opened the door I pulled him and kissed him passionately that he almost fell to the floor. I pushed him to the bed and took off his clothes. But before our little “party,” I made sure that I discreetly dialed his girlfriend’s cell number (he had a new girl two weeks after we were over! Real jerk!) and have her hear his boyfriend’s moans. Of course, I was exaggerating my pleasure sounds, screaming “Oh my god! You’re so good” while I was riding him like there was no tomorrow. As he was coming, the door flew open and the old hag stood there catching us red-handed. It was the funniest sight! Her face went pale upon seeing that it was I on top of her man, while still holding her phone to her ear. While she stood frozen, my ex shook, while I reached for my cell phone and naughtily asked her, “Are you this good?” smiling wickedly at her afterwards. She run off and broke up with him that night. Ha! Ha!

CONNIVING VAMP, BY EMAIL
ILLUSTRATION BY: SONNY RAMIREZ


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