We’re three months into 2014, which only means one thing for us barakos: The time to change our diskarte in kalandian was yesterday!
If you’re still asking for landlines from your crush for flirting purposes, your style is way out of date. Gone are the days when phone pals abound–now, it’s all about sexting!
The Art of Sext: Pushing the “Right Buttons”
To the uninformed in the ways of the modern pogi, let me tell you what sexting is: It is the act of sending text messages that are admittedly mahalay.
Our breed has come to embrace sexting because it comes with much less risk–your crush will never hear your voice crack and, better yet, you can spend the entire day obsessing about how to compose the perfect “sext message.”
Of course, you must learn how to “push the right buttons”–pun intended. A sext message will sound perverted if you don’t know how to play it cool. To initiate a “sexting session,” here are my recommendations.
1. In the beginning, go for “innocently naughty”
You don’t want to be hardcore manyak the first time you start a sexting session. If she responds with smileys and encouraging replies, drop this bomb: “May hard-on ako, anong gagawin ko?”
Let the (sex) games begin.
But keep your weird fantasies to yourself at this point such as costume play and whips and such...
...especially if it involves SailorMoon costumes
and giant pink rod thingies
2. Tell her horny stories
Here’s a sample story that will get her hormones raging: “Nanaginip ako na may babaeng nang-seduce sa'kin. Gusto mo bang malaman kung paano niya ako pinagsamantalahan?” If she says yes, you’re in.
Side question: Do you know what they say about what curiosity did to the cat? It got the poor pussy wet.
3. Ask her sex-related questions like you’re an innocent little boy
For instance, you can ask, “What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done with a man?” or “Do girls have wet dreams?” If she opens up, you’re one lucky bastard.
Remember: If she willingly sends back sext messages, she might be willing to do other things #AlamNa.
Now that you know she’s warming up, you can crank it up a notch…at pwede mo na siyang painitin ng todo!
How do you get rid of a serious investment after heartbreak? The answer: you don't
Start saving up, Jinjas!