For the last 15 years, we’ve had the honor of being assisted by a host of desirable, open-minded women in answering the most boggling questions about sex, dating, and relationships. FHM columnists Asia Agcaoili, Paloma, and just recently, Master Debaters Abby and Jahziel, have all shared a piece of their knowledge in order to help us understand women.
So how will Divine help us score? Here's what she can offer: "A wingwoman is a lady friend that helps you pick up other ladies. 'Help' meaning I'm easing the girls by letting them know you're not a creep, and by me boosting your A game. That's the kind of wingwoman I am."
For her first game hack, Divine teaches us how to knock a girl senseless with a good ol' French kiss! Wet your lips, gentlemen!
DO THE FRENCHIE
"French kissing is just having your lips and tongues dance together—with your special someone, or that special flavor you're with at the time. I like to call it, doing the Frenchie! But Frenchies are not the same for everyone, so to help you improve, I came up with different types of kissers. Let's be honest with ourselves—which type do you fit under?"
1) THE WET AND SLOPPY KISSER
"You're using way too much tongue and using it as a weapon—stabbing your partner's gums and tonsils, and banging her cheeks from the inside like a drum! Doesn’t sound flattering at all, does it?"
How to improve: "Swallow your damn saliva! Nobody wants too much of that in their mouth! Keep it steady and simple. When you're moving your tongue around: think stroke, not stab."
Divine stresses: "Do NOT lick over the lip line unless you know she wants things to get a little messy and spicy."
2) THE FACE EATER
"The problem with this kisser is that by the time you're done, your girl's teeth are cracked, chipped, and broken. Her face is not a slice of pizza, and her lips aren't pepperoni. Please don't eat it."
How to improve: "You don't need to go in teeth first then lips second. Lead with your lips, it may look like you’re ridiculous, but at least you’re not leading with your teeth. Your lips are there for a reason."
Divine stresses: "Please do not eat the other person's face."
3) THE SLEEP-ZONE KISSER
"The name says it all…Zzzzz! Boring! You want to be remembered, right? You want the girls who've kissed you to say great things about your skills, right? Don't be this guy."
How to improve: "Try and include a naughty nibble on the lip and tease her with your tongue by licking her bottom lips gently. Hold her close and feel her hair while you're kissing."
Divine stresses: "Give her a little pull on her hair while you're kissing her and give her some gentle kisses on her cheeks and neck. No girl can resist that!"
IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT THE SMOOCH
Here are some moves that can complement and instantly elevate your Frenchie game into superstar level:
"Wrap your arms around her. When you start moving your hands lower to her waist, let her feel the pressure of your fingertips. If you're looking for a more sensitive style, run your fingers through her hair and place your hand on the side of her face while kissing her."
"Under no circumstances should you cross your arms. You don't want her to feel unwanted and uncomfortable. That won't get you anywhere! She has to feel you're giving her 110 percent—always face her and always have open body language. This allows her to trust you and get more comfortable with you after."
"Think positive about the situation. Be outgoing and friendly. You must be confident, and trust your own moves. Take charge of the situation and take the lead."
HOW DIVINE DOES IT
Longest time in liplock: "I would have to say probably a few hours. Of course, we weren't only kissing at times. *Wink*"
Favorite object in the mouth while kissing: "Other than my tongue ring, ice is fun to play with while kissing. If you haven't played with ice yet, play away and go wild with it!"
Favorite drink to have just before kissing: "Uh, mouthwash? I don't drink it of course, but I love knowing my mouth is clean and ready to go."
Eyes closed or eyes opened: "Closed while kissing, yeah!"
Favorite types of kissers: "My girlfriend."
In celebration of Stan Smith Day
Nick Oyzon is in the house!
Paging the local government