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Aug 13, 2015
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Ask any man and he'll probably say his penis is the most important (and most abused) part of his body. For a thing that has played such a major role in our (sex) lives though, many of us are still quite clueless about it.

Sure, we know it's for "number one" and creating babies to ensure the continued survival of the human race, but do we really know anything about it other than the obvious?

To help us get more acquainted with our one true significant other, here are some hard facts regarding our pride and joy.


IT NEEDS AIR AND EXERCISE

penis factsGIF via Trentlewin.com

Like any other muscle, the penis needs regular "exercise" in order to keep its healthy bodily functions. Don't go taking your shorts off in your gym all of a sudden though; you don't need to, uhm, banana curl that dumbbell. Your penis just needs to get some oxygen and your brain (should) automatically help it do that while you're sleeping, according to Tobias Kohler, MD, assistant professor of urology at Southern Illinois University School of Medicine. Just don't expect to grow abs on your member.


SPINE-TINGLING

Your spinal cord is responsible for ejaculations. "My spine made me do it," is now a valid reason to give your #bae when you pop your load too soon.


VANISHING PENISES

penis factsGIF via erraticthematic

There's actually a phenomenon called Koro or "Penis Panic" in Africa that makes men believe their penises have vanished. Wait, what?


OH, THE HORROR!

The Lorena Bobbitt effect is named after the psycho who chopped her husband's penis off in 1993. It started a worldwide phenomenon of women cutting off their husbands' penises. Thanks a lot, Lorena.


IT CAN BREAK (YES, IT'S OKAY TO CRINGE)

penis factsGIF via Samanthamcgowan.com

"Penis rupture" are two words that should never be put together. A man (and/or his partner) could break his penis doing vigorous sexual activities kaya hinay-hinay lang, tsong!


PENIS GREETINGS

Walibri tribesmen from Australia literally shake each other's penises when they want to greet each other. As much as we would like to give you more information about this wonderful tradition, we weren't really keen on clicking on links to any pictures or videos. Sorry, bros.


A PENIS FESTIVAL!

penis factsImage via Dlisted.com

It wouldn't be a list without a weird entry from Japan wouldn't it? A place called Kawasaki holds a penis festival annually called the Kanamara Matsuri (The Festival of the Steel Phallus). It involves carrying around 2.5-meter-tall wooden penises like they're the stars of their very own Santa Cruzan. Oh, Japan...

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HAVING TWO HEADS ISN'T ALWAYS BETTER THAN ONE

There's a rare phenomenon that happens to men called diphallus. A man with this condition is born with two dully-functioning penises. This would be great and all (because hey, sword fights 24/7!) but there's also a host of other penis-related disorders that usually comes along with it.


TECHNICALLY, BROS WERE GIRLS ONCE

penis factsGIF via Humarashid.com

"Your penis was once a clitoris," a revelation on par with, "Luke, I am your father." Our penises are actually larger and more developed clitorises that transformed when we were still inside our mommies. As proof of this, the penis still has semblances of clit-ness such as the raphe, the dark "ridge" near the anus that extends all the way to the underbelly of your member. Fact: It's actually once a part of an embryonic vajayjay!


WHAT'S UP WITH THAT SHAPE?

Have you ever wondered why your penis is shaped like a really long mushroom? It's to scrape and dig away previous ejaculations from a woman's vagina. According to research from the State University of New York, your manoy wants to be the alpha penis by removing or lessening the possibility of other penises impregnating your mate. It actually makes sense, right?

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