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Jan 31, 2017
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It's one of the most common issues of couples, but is often not discussed: mismatched sex drives.

Maybe you both had a high libido during the first few months of your relationship and everything about your sex life seemed to be incredibly perfect. However, your partner's sexual desire started to slow down after some time.

What went wrong?

Maribeth Brown, a family and relationships counselor from Las Piñas City, says that, "as you spend more years together, stressors like work or money issues are shared, which can affect mood and add fatigue." She says one of the most effective ways to reclaim that sexual spark you and your lover once had is to keep communication lines open. Sharing thoughts, she says, will help address issues even before it takes over your sex life.

Because we think this isn't the only thing you could do to make your sex life hot again, we summoned the courage to ask women: "How should a guy deal with mismatched sex drives?"

Below are their detailed responses:

"I would recommend scheduling sex. It might appear boring, but it is surprisingly satisfying. There are no surprises, but there are also no nagging moments, resentments, or expectations." —Ina, 30

"If a woman feels pressured, she will resist more. I know it can make you frustrated and feel rejected when told 'no' but the more you ask, the more she will 'just not feel like it'. Wait for her to ask. She also has sexual needs. In the meantime, have some fun with yourself." —Paula, 26

"Seduce her. Women have to be turned on or she else won't allow you to get inside of her. If you aren't doing it right, it won't work." —Celine, 25

"I know this doesn't work for everyone, but I've asked my partner to wear less clothing around the house. It's harder to keep my hands off him when I can see the goods. Also, just jack it in the other room and make a little noise while you do. Even if she isn't inspired to join in, it's pretty hot and she'll have it in the back of her mind for later." —Liezel, 24

"I consider myself a pretty sexual person and if I am very tired I can't get physically aroused. There is no energy for the process to happen. So let her rest, serve her food, or give her a back massage. She'd surely appreciate these little gestures and reward you afterwards." —Nica, 29

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"Sexual desire in women is often tied to how she feels about you and your support and partnership with her. One very common example is how much you listen to and talk with her, and help with cleaning and chores. Consider these factors." —Keziah, 32

"Take time to talk about what excites you and your partner. Ask about the things each one wants to try. Listen to each other and be open-minded when it comes to new ways of executing intercourse." —Alyssa, 28

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