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May 19, 2014
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Congrats, you’ve scored a one-night stand! Most of the time, one of you will be doing the walk of shame—but that’s not the only ending possible.

Here are five scenarios you can wake up to. Plan ahead!


‘GOOD’ MORNING

Who: A crazy good lay, a real freak in bed

 Item required: Breath mints

The Plan: Chicks dig horny morning activities, and who doesn’t want a second round? Wake her with your wandering hands rather than with words, and she’ll reciprocate if you are worthy. But before that, pop a few mints to ensure the minimum of hygiene required for a second go-around.


THE GENTLEMAN’S EXIT

 

Who: Someone you’d actually want to see again…maybe
 

Skills required: Rudimentary cooking skills
 

The Plan: Nothing makes anyone feel as spoiled as breakfast in bed, but whipping up a three-course brekkie might creep the girl out with how thoroughly you went through her kitchen. A simple scrambled egg and fried protein combo will be enough to ensure you can walk away with a good impression–and her number for next time.


THE EXTRA-MORNING AFTER

Who:  An ex, or generally any emotionally unstable lay (e.g. she cried during sex)

Skills required: Ability to find and put clothes on in the dark; light feet

The Plan: It was a bad idea, so you need to extract yourself before she wakes up and causes a shitstorm. Wait until she falls asleep and immediately sneak out the door. Don’t dare turn on a light, and pray the door doesn’t creak. In this case, 2 a.m. is morning-after enough.


NEXT: The worst-case scenario!


Illustration Mike Gallardo
From FHM's May 2014 issue
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