A typical non-fashyon male’s first reaction to “come in formal attire” is to bitch and whine about having to dress up. The next part is trying to remember where your damn suit is–because formal wear = suit–since it hasn’t seen the light of day since your now teenage sister was baptized or something. Another problem presents itself here: many dudes wear looks that they had made for graduation/prom/wedding/other events that happened many revolutions of the style calendar ago.
So if you just happened to order up a new fit recently, brush up and review our commandments for rocking formal wear here. Better pay attention if you want your next decade of formal event clothing to not be duds!
#1 THOU SHALL CONSIDER VISITING A TAILOR
GIF via Tumblr.com
We don’t even mean having your tailor create a “bespoke” outfit for you. We all have to eat and/or buy more sneakers and smartphones, so we understand that the price tag of a custom two-piece suit is prohibitive. But even when buying off the rack, please have it tailored because look at all the things they can do: shortening and narrowing the sleeves, cuffing and tapering pants, adjusting your trunk space, among others.
In other words, a tailor acts as the magic wand that transforms your amerikana to a fit that, well, truly fits your bod.
#2 THOU SHALL NOT BE A CHEAP BASTARD
The next step after dragging yourself to the tailor is balking at the eventual bill and doing the math in your head and finding out you could buy THREE new basketball jerseys for the price. The difference is that having the freshest steeze on court won’t improve your crappy ball handles but a good, tailored suit will increase your pussy-slaying game by approximately 100 percent. We know where we want to be!
#3 THOU SHALL NOT BUTTON ALL THE WAY
Now we’re actually into wearing a suit.
The rule with buttoning a three-button coat is: sometimes, always, never. For example: leave the top one popped open if the reception is over and you’re all drunkenly hanging out in the reception–but slot it if things are formal. The rationale for buttoning the middle should be obvious. And never do the bottom one because it literally turns you into a square.
This illustration from The Art of Manliness explains things if you still don't get it: