If you like to watch certain “educational” videos online, then no doubt the idea of getting rid of the forest down there has wandered into your mind—promptly followed by “nope” at the thought of searing pain and someone intimately handling your junk. Girls seem to be all over waxing, so does it really hurt that bad anyway? Does it feel presko AF afterwards? Our intrepid friend Louis* shares his experience of getting a boyzilian (AKA Brazilian Wax for the boys).
Before this, did you practice any sort of pube control?
I trim it with scissors occasionally, everyone does that naman di ba?
Probably not. So, the first question is–obviously–did it hurt?
Actually, yes and no. Some portions are actually not bad, like sa may singit and the balls (surprisingly). Maybe it feels like pulling leg hair with a band-aid, not so bad. But then when you get to the portion above the main bird, fuck, medyo intense. Yung tipong umaangat ka na sa bed in pain. And then paulit-ulit…
Like screaming pain? Was there screaming from adjacent booths?
Not scream, pero I did start grunting pretty loudly. Di naman ata na-scandal si ate waxer. I didn’t hear anyone naman—maybe mag-isa lang kasi ako.
How long did it take?
I’m not particularly hairy, but it took maybe an hour or more? They’ll trim the hair muna with scissors before waxing. Then yun okay at first then parang bumagal once it got to the painful part.
Do you have to interact with the waxer?
No, but they’ll check like if okay ka with the temperature of the wax—it’s pretty hot. They apply it, press a strip on, then pull. Otherwise, parang massage lang where you can just lie there.
Did you have to waddle home after?
No, pero it was pink and sensitive. They just said don’t take a hot bath daw right after. I wore loose bottoms para safe pero okay naman, di naman parang nagpatuli ka uli.
Is there a recovery process?
For a few days the skin looked raw-ish but not naman masakit. What happened though was parang a lot of ingrown hair follicles or something came out. Yung mukhang pimple na white–marami sa crotch area so medyo gross tingnan. It took like a week for them to all go away by themselves. I didn’t ask if normal, pero I guess kasi hinihila nga naman yung hair.
Sounds gross indeed.
Yeah, so di ko din na-feel na pornstar ako, ha ha!
How did it feel after though?
I have to admit masarap siya. Presko nga. Nag-basketball ako tapos ang linis ng feeling down there—during and after the game. Maganda yung feeling na walang hair na naiipit sa garter ng brief or boxers, sobrang solid. At first weird din tingnan na walang hair when I change clothes, but nasanay din ako.
Would you do it again?
Hindi na siguro, ha ha! Pero okay siya ma-experience once—masakit lang talaga!
*Not his real name