You think you have kutis artista...at least until we get to your elbows. Look at 'em. They're dark and rough as compared to the rest of your body. You've tried to scrub off that discoloration on your beloved siko with soap, but to no avail.
You've convinced yourself, "Meh, whatever, real men have discolored elbows anyway." True. But did you know that some girls like their men to be as smooth as women. It's real. They might say, "Oh, I like my boys a little dirty," but don't trust 'em. Secretly, they like well-groomed men—elbows included.
Fortunately, we've got tips.
1) Elbows off the table, sir.
You constantly lean on them in times of deep thoughts, which could be hours every single day. This is especially true if you have a desk job or you're particularly emo. Consciously avoid it. The constant rubbing causes a lot of friction that result in the callusing on your elbows.
2) Wear elbow pads when working out.
You're alive, so inevitably, you'll lean on your elbows. For example: gym-time. When doing exercises that requires elbow work (read: planking, reverse crunches), make sure you wear elbow pads. They're cheap and available in any sports store.
3) Apply petroleum jelly.
Ah yes, good ol' PJ. You know of its many uses, don't you? But did you know it can also smoothen your elbows? We didn't, until a certain Dr. Andrew Ordon told Huffington Post that this actually works. Just dab some of that grease on the elbows before stepping into a steamy shower. This will help soften the dry skin.
4) Rub a banana peel.
Dr. Ordon also recommends rubbing elbows in a circular motion with a banana peel to reduce dryness. As noted by the American Journal of Biochemistry and Biotechnoloical, the peel contains both antibacterial and antioxidant components which are both great for the skin. Bananas, everyone! A fruit for every occasion!
5) Okay, if you really want to get girly about it, here's the ultimate tip: Exfoliate those elbows at least twice a week!
This might sound like your girlfriend's kaartehan, but if you really, really have charcoal elbows, and you want to improve their appearance, you have no choice. Remember those exfoliating creams that you saw at her place, the ones she use on her face? Grab those, and use them on your elbows. The rough grains found in those creams will gradually lighten your elbows like they do your girlfriend's face.
Now, be patient. No elbow can go from Whitney Tyson to Lucy Torres overnight.
GIFs via Giphy.com