How you smell is considered a big part of your attractiveness. No matter how handsome you look, how suave your attitude is, or how intelligent you may appear, if you stink, retaining the attention of a romantic prospect will be very, very difficult. Your bad breath, asim pits, and amoy-barya hair are an insta-turn off.
So in order to prepare you for the dating game (also known as the battlefield for love), here's a handy guide to ridding your body of nasty odors. You'll thank us later when your future girlfriend loses the nose clip.
1) Bad Breath
CAUSES: Not brushing your teeth, obviously. Aside from poor hygiene, it could be postnasal drip (aka a mucus problem, excusable) or your diet—a very low carb one, to be specific. Ketogenics, beware—ketones can make your breath smell fruity or even like nail polish remover.
TREATMENT: Don’t skip meals, and remember that dental health isn’t multiple choice—do ALL of it. Brush, floss, gargle, and not just once a day. Talk to your dentist if it’s halitosis that won’t go away—might be an underlying gum problem, or diabetes.
PREVENTION: Avoid onions, garlic, cheese, alcohol, sodas, and smoking.
2) Body Odor
CAUSES: Besides not showering, did you know that stressing makes you stink? Well, stress sweat isn’t exactly more putrid on its own, but it’s a lot thicker, and contains more fats and things from inside our body that’s like a treat for bacteria. When they feast on it, that’s what causes the odor.
TREATMENT: Funnily enough, baths and deodorant should be enough—look at antiperspirant-deodorants, because some just have a single function—unless your odor comes from a fungal infection that’s settled into your warm nooks from a combination of bad hygiene x excessive sweating. In that case, see a dermatologist.
PREVENTION: First of all, diet is key, again. Try not to eat meat, fatty or oily food, excessively. They don’t call it the meat sweats for nothing!
3) Foul Feet
CAUSES: Wearing the same shoes waaaay too often.
PREVENTION: Try not wearing shoes twice in a row—the sweat in your feet soaks into it, and when you wear it, it stinks up your feet too. A vicious cycle, we say. Always use absorbent socks or use a spray deo/antiperspirant on your feet if socks will cramp your pre-visualized shoe and pant combo on that day.
TREATMENT: Sink your heels into a warm water and vinegar soak. It’s a natural deodorizer.
4) Extra Nasty Gas
CAUSES: Again, it’s all about the diet. Eggs and meat, obviously, add that sulphur smell to your gas. Also, dairy in general. You know when you open a fridge and it smells, um, farty? That’s probably because the fridge has some cruciferous veggies stored in it–broccoli, brussel sprouts, etc.—these make your fart a little extra.
TREATMENT: Ease up on the protein, and counteract the hydrogen sulphide emissions with food that contain slow absorbing carbs. We’re talking about bananas, potatoes, cereals…
PREVENTION: Some say taking peppermint oil supplements (capsule form) help the gas that you pass reek less. (BTW, do not take this in oil form).
5) Sour-smelling Scalp
CAUSES: an oily scalp left unwashed equals a great bacteria breeding ground, most often associated with oily dandruff. Again, no need to feel bad—it’s not you that stinks, it’s the bacteria’s fault here.
TREATMENT: Your dermatologist can provide medication, but if you think it’s not that bad, tea tree oil works wonders. Leave it on for an episode of your favorite show, massage it, and wash. Don’t accidentally binge while it’s on there though.
PREVENTION: Wash often—especially after a workout. And try not to wear hats 24/7 to give your head some breathing space.