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15 Things A Man Must Know: The FHM Bionic Edition
Get yo' ass off the couch and have your weekly dose of fitspiration!
by Mars Salazar | May 8, 2015
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Just because #LaBoracay’s over doesn’t mean you should drop your #BalikAlindog regimen! Fuel your workouts with this week’s dose of fitspiration which includes a six-year-old black belter, multitasking sex positions, and a woman with a special talent that can, er, crush the competition.

Read on for more brain-to-bod knowledge!

Studies have proven that people perform better after spending some time with cute little creatures like puppies and kittens and babies. Therefore, we conclude that the world would be a better place if all schools and offices have an appointed puppy room, like the University of Lancashire. We’d even volunteer as testers!

Video via Dalhousie University

If you want to look like The Hulk, you’re better off painting yourself green than injecting oil and alcohol into your biceps, like what a Brazilian guy named Romario dos Santos Alves did. Let’s just say he learned his lesson: his prized guns have to be amputated as they were reeking with bacteria. Yikes!

Video via Barcroft TV

The SmartPlate analyzes what’s on your plate to help you keep track of your food intake. In other words, it tells you when you've already had too much grub. It’s just the thing we need, eh?

bionic 15 thingsImage via

Guys, we’re imploring all of you to practice safe sex every effin' time (see what we did there?)! Decent condoms may cost as much as a fastfood value meal, but a baby (or an STD treatment) will always cost more. Follow the snarky (but intelligent!) answers this 14-year-old girl wrote on a sex-ed questionnaire and you're good!

bionic 15 thingsImage via

Apples are some of the best things you can chomp on for merienda—they’re healthy and yummy and ridiculously easy to prepare. Pack one in your bag for a quick vitamin boost!

Video via Grant Thompson - "The King of Random"

Here’s the longevity secret of America’s oldest WWII vet, who will turn 109 in a few days: 12 cigars A DAY, whiskey, and lots of yard work. We don't know if yosi and booze has something to do with it, but we think him doing manual labor is one of the key ingredients.  Hard work = stronger muscles and bones, yo!

bionic 15 thingsImage via

There’s no way you’d describe table tennis as a boring sport after watching this intense rally. Who would’ve thought that such a seemingly simple game could be so action-packed?

Continue reading below ↓

Video via Official ITTF Channel

Adidas has the most inspirational video you’ll ever see today. Score that win, bros.

Video via adidas

Beards are glorious, manly things…but not when they contain the same germs that are found in poop, like some do. Still, it’s nothing an occasional shampoo can cure!

bionic 15 things

Talk about multitasking: The Cancer Sutra offers a few sex positions you can try out while inspecting your partner’s body for signs of cancer. Because telling your partner that she might have a breast tumor is a surefire way to get her wet and horny, you know?

bionic 15 things

89-year-old Bryan Perry amazingly scored a touchdown during an alumni football game at Kansas University. The fact that there was no defense at all really contributed to his score, but it’s still an impressive feat for someone his age!

Video via Kansas Athletics

Jake Frood
is the real-life Karate Kid: At the age of six, this juvenile arthritis sufferer is thought to be the youngest person in the whole world to get a 2nd degree black belt. What were you doing when you were six, hmm?

bionic 15 thingsImage via

If you need an excuse to buy GTA V, you can argue that your gaming skillz is "an indicator of a better-connected brain," which equates to better cognitive abilities. The next time your girlfriend scolds you for spending the whole afternoon in front of the PlayStation 4, tell her you’re improving your brain’s capabilities. Chicks dig smart guys, so she just might buy your palusot.

bionic 15 thingsGIF via

If you’re feeling lazy to work out this weekend, just remember that this woman can crush a freaking watermelon with her freaking BOOBS. How does that make your biceps feel?

bionic 15 thingsGIF via

Talk about fitspiration: this 18-year-old dude went from lanky injured teen to super buff bro with makalaglag-panty abs in the span of one year. Tell us your secret!

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