It's a fact as ageless as Alice Dixson's curves and skin: Girls love to shop (or at least most of them anyway). They love it so much that it can drive us crazy or, like in the case of this poor Chinese dude who committed suicide, even to our death!
This is how we think the Chinese dude felt...
Also a fact: We don't share the fairer sex's penchant for scouring through endless rows of stores and stalls just to find, say, the perfect pair of pink shoes. And when your girl asks the dreaded question, "Pwede mo ba ako samahan sa mall?" chances are you're already cooking up some lie just to spare your feet from going sore, among others. Bad, but we feel you. Nakaka-relate kami.
But what if your storage of nifty excuses runs dry? You've got no choice, bro. You have to lace up and go with your girl lest you want to be on the receiving end of a massive bitchfit. Since we've been through the drill ourselves, we're gonna lend you a brotherly hand.
Check out below our simple tips to surviving a massive, estrogen-driven shopping spree. Especially useful since, you know, it's the holiday season and sales abound.
BRING A SMALL BUT DURABLE FOLDING CHAIR
When a girl enters her fave shop, she'll be looking at all the awesome deals in there. Plus the mandatory sukat routine. The dude with her? Expect him to look for the nearest bench to sit on. Problem is, there will be other men that are looking to do the same. So bring your own little folding chair (like a miniature director's chair) to save you from the hassle of looking. It costs around P1,500 to P3,000 a pop. Aside from being light and portable, they're reusable, too, which means you now have a silent BFF whenever your girl goes shopping.
MAKE YOUR GIRL COME UP WITH A "TO-BUY" LIST
Making a "To-Buy" list before going to shop might just reduce the hassle of shopping. You already know what she wants to buy so you can now plan the most efficient (read: less lakad) route inside a mall/tiangge. True, your jowa might not follow it to the letter, but at least you won't have to ask, "Babe, ano ba talaga bibilhin mo?" Just be sure to add a little lambing when you ask her to make a list.
GOOGLE MAPS IS YOUR FRIEND
Because it's the holidays, traffic is nasty. So, before heading out, check out your smartphone's maps app for directions so you'll know which routes to take and avoid. You won't be needing to DL one, too, as most handsets already have one. For example, Androids have Google Maps while iPhone have iOS maps.
NEXT: Because you're in for a lot of walking