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9 Things I Learned From Playing 'Pokémon GO' For The Last 3 Weeks

#1: I need to pay my phone bill
by Anne Mari Ronquillo | Aug 25, 2016
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Pokémon GO's been out for a few weeks now and grandparents are shaking their heads in disapproval of this incredible leap in technology. I beg to differ. Since playing the game, I've actually gained a lot of knowledge about the world around me, and even about myself.

Here are some of them.

1) 'Augmented reality'

Augmented reality (AR) is a live direct or indirect view of a physical, real-world environment whose elements are augmented (or supplemented) by computer-generated sensory input such as sound, video, graphics or GPS data. —Wikipedia

2) Pokémon GO is just like Uber

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I mean, there is a map that shows you where things are. And if you Lure [Module] them, they will come.

3) PokéBalls run out

Look, it's a bat creature (Zubat)! This shouldn't be too hard… Ok, so it's trickier when they fly. I got this. My high score on that Facebook basketball game is 25 so this will be a cinch. I'll try again. And again. Okay lang, isa pa. One more. What do you mean I'm out of PokéBalls? So that's what PokéStops are for! But my nearest PokéStop requires me to walk through Addict Alley. Maybe tomorrow.

4) I need to exercise more

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I'll start the day with a nice Poké-walk which is great 'cos I'm fresh out of the shower. Watch out, Pokémon creatures! Wait, all this walking is making me sweat. Shouldn't have worn this light grey shirt. Why am I so tired? I feel dehydrated. My legs aren't used to walking this far. I'm almost at the gym...The Poké Gym. Maybe I'm better off heading to a real gym working with kettle bells instead of Poké Balls.


5) I hate obnoxious kids

Kids are vile creatures. They run around me and invade my personal space catching Pokémon better than I could. I no longer possess the speed and intensity by which they learn and pick things up. Hey, kid! I hope you run out of PokéBalls! Your lack of personal income and credit card will keep you from buying more. What the hell is a seven-year old doing with an iPhone anyway? Balik mo yan sa nanay mo!

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6) I'm old AF

I was a Super Mario superstar. I used to beat the water levels in one go without touching any fish. But now I need to literally walk to catch creatures that will make me lose in the gym anyway. The Pokémon GO interface is even harder to understand than Snapchat's. How do you enable the camera? Oh, so it only shows up when a creature is nearby. Got it. When did games get so hard? They just don't make 'em like they used to. I miss my controller.

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7) I should have listened to my Science teacher

Who knew that Water-type Pokémon were weak against Electric-types? Not me. These battles are some kind of high-level rock-paper-scissors game that I would have a better sense of if I had a good grasp of elemental science.

8) Data coverage still sucks in the PH

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My phone is almost dead and yet the map won't refresh 'cos I only get freakin' GPRS in this area. How are we in 2016 with AR games on our phones and still on piss-poor, third-world data connections? I'll be tweeting to my service provider later so they can tell me to DM them with my concerns. Which reminds me...

9) I need to pay my phone bill


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