Bro/miss, nagko-commute ka ba? Okay, we think we know the answer to that because, well, who doesn't, right?
Most Pinoys have taken on local traffic aboard dime-a-dozen PUVs or public utility vehicles like tricycles, buses, and the colorful "Hari ng Kalsada" jeepneys. A lucky few rarely do it (a.k.a. the filthy rich folks), some take it on a few times a week (a.k.a. the car owners who are still sometimes active participants of Oplan Tipid Sweldo). For the majority though, it's a dreary daily routine composed of waking up early, lining up at terminals or the MRT station, and waiting for the glorious carriage that sometimes takes forever to arrive.
It's tiring, it's dangerous, and it's a fact of Philippine life—three things that make commuting a memorable experience.
You know another thing that makes it memorable? The awkward situations that we encounter whenever we decide to brave the streets and commute, like the ones below!
So, we think makaka-relate kayo when we talk about...
THAT MOMENT WHEN YOUR BUTT IS BARELY ON THE SEAT
It frequently happens (and usually involves a lot of but-clenching) on PUVs and FX taxis that like to cram every living soul inside as if they're going to run out of passengers. When this happens to you, you silently pray that the vehicle doesn't make a sudden stop or that another passenger gets off. What makes it worse is the feeling that your fellow commuters have one eye (and maybe their cellphone cameras) on you, waiting to see if your ass can hold on.
THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU HOLD OUT YOUR HAND...BUT NOTHING HAPPENS
GIF via Thedudestory.com
A form of bayanihan happens aboard PUVs, and it involves you stretching out your hand to help deliver fellow passengers' bayad and sukli. Sometimes though, more than one obliges, and when that happens, there's a fair chance you'll be literally reaching out and...nothing's there. Well, at least your intentions were good.
THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU SAY "PARA!" BUT THE PUV DOESN'T STOP
This moment usually happens inside large vans and is experienced by those on the extreme back side. You say "Para!" but because of the vehicle's large size or the booming radio, the driver doesn't hear you and drives on. Your only recourse is to say it several times, your voice growing louder and impatient each time until you're too annoyed and frustrated that you scream something like "Juskopo, para sabi eh!"
THAT MOMENT WHEN THE ONE BESIDE YOU REEKS
GIF via Gifsoup.com
...and you cannot do anything about it. Wala. Kundi mag-tiis.
On one hand you avoid pinching your nose or asking that person why he or she smells like roadkill to avoid being rude. But then the stench is too strong that you're about to throw up inside your mouth. You're left with no choice but to ride it out, and when you get out, it's like your nose finally broke free.
THAT MOMENT WHEN YOUR HAND SLIPS WHILE YOU DOZE OFF
Sometimes we're just too tired that we can't help but get a few Zs on the journey any way we can. A usual tactic for jeepney riders is to grab the hand rail and lean their head on their arm. It's effective as long as your hand can hold on. But once it slips, you'll be the star of an awkward moment, your arm and head suddenly falling in a split second as you frantically try to grab the hand rail again. After which, you'll again sleep, but we all know that this time you're only pretending to avoid the stares (who wouldn't wake up from that, right?).
THAT MOMENT WHEN SOMEONE LEANS ON YOU
GIF via Lilaznkelly.wordpress.com
That person behind you? Watch out—he/she might just use your shoulder as a pillow in the middle of the journey! Some of us brave the awkwardness and wake the person up or at least give him/her a nudge when it happens. You're lucky if the person's a cute gal. Too bad that's usually not the case.
THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU HAND OUT A HUGE BILL
GIF via Awesomelyluvvie.com
It's okay if the driver has change, but if he doesn't, prepare to travel with the question "Masusuklian kaya niya ako?" bugging you. What makes it worse is if he angrily mumbles and grumbles about that P1,000 bill you handed to him, making you shrink down and want to get it over with.
GIF via Tinalicious.com
Many of us are confident of our traffic-beating skills that we tell the taxi driver the exact path he should traverse to get to the destination, even if he has his own, pre-planned route. All's well if the path you took worked, but if it landed you a spot on slow-moving traffic, then prepare hearing him say stuff like, "Sabi na eh" or "Sana hindi na lang tayo dito dumaan." To help spare you the awkwardness, you might want to check the traffic situation before blurting out directions. Here are nifty apps to help you do just that!
THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU CRASH INTO SOMEBODY INSIDE THE PUV
GIF via IGN.com
This usually happens when you've got a reckless driver going all harabas mode in tight traffic. It can usually be avoided by holding on for dear life. But sometimes we forget to do so, making us vulnerable to that moment when the driver presses on the brakes hard which results in you crashing into the person beside you like an American football linebacker.
Don't forget to say sorry when this happens, okay? Acting like nothing happened will increase the awkwardness level and the risk of you coming out like a douche by 100-percent.
THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU HAND OUT SUKLI, BUT NO ONE GETS IT
Image via Memecrunch.com
Sometimes, drivers make mistakes when handing out change, and when you're the unlucky "middle man," you'll find yourself trying to deliver change but because it's wrong, no one will get it. You extend your arm a few seconds longer hoping someone gets it, but to no avail.
You then try to give it back to the driver who replies adamantly "Dun 'yan sa likod!" Repeat the kill-me-now moment. And don't even think keeping it for yourself or else...