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Explainer: The Royal Wedding
<p>Because people are talking about it, nonstop!</p>
by Lou E. Albano | Apr 29, 2011
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First of all, allow us remind you that Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding isn’t just any other wedding. It’s a ROYAL wedding, mind. [firstpara]

Why all the hype on the papers, internet, and even local channels when we’re not British? Why do we even care, right?

Before you turn into a royal hater, the basics.

Who’s getting married?
The groom’s name is William Mounbatten-Windsor AKA (and answers to the name) Prince William or Prince William of Wales.

He is the second in line to be King—behind father Prince Charles— of the United Kingdom and its 15 independent states.

Shame on you if you don’t know who Prince William is; he is the future King! The same future King whose net worth is $45 million dollars.

The bride, meanwhile, is 28-year-old Catherine “Kate” Middleton from Berkshire, England. She is the eldest daughter of Carole Elizabeth, a flight attendant, and Michael Middleton, a flight dispatcher for British Airways. Kate has two siblings: a sister named Philippa Charlotte and a brother named James William.

Yup, upper-middle class but unlike Lady Diana, she has zero royal or aristocratic blood. Not that that's necessary; check out the Royal Marriages Act 1772.

When and where is the wedding?
On April 29, 2011, which has already been declared a bank holiday (non-working holiday in UK), at the Westminster Abbey in London, England.

How'd the two meet?
In 2001, Prince William and Kate meet at St. Andrews University while studying Art History. It's been said that the Prince had trouble settling in school and that Kate was instrumental in convincing him to stay.

In March 2002, William paid £200 (approx. P14,500) for a charity fashion show featuring Kate modeling a sheer black dress over a black bra and bikini. By September of that year, the two, along with two other friends become housemates.

In 2003, at a rugby match, they are finally pictured being more than friends. A year later, William and Kate become a couple. In mid-2007, they break up; in late 2007 they get back together. And in November 2010 (finally!) while on a 10-day safari in Kenya, William proposes his undying love to Kate with his dead mother’s engagement ring

Why the hell did Prince William give Kate dead momma’s ring?
While some say it could bring bad luck and some say it’s outright creepy, but let’s give the young man a chance to justify his decision to put that not-too-shabby ring—18-carat blue sapphire encircled by 14 brilliant cut diamonds in an 18 karat white gold band—a family heirloom valued at £250,000.

Prince William says that the ring is, "my way of making sure my mother didn't miss out on today and the excitement."

Wait, did Kate have to deal with issues about virginity, as did Lady Diana?
It may have mattered 30 years ago, but it doesn’t anymore. Kate Middleton’s chastity is a non-issue. Here are the facts:

In 1981, just before Lady Diana and Prince Charles’s royal wedding, her uncle came out with a public statement to declare her 20-year-old niece as a “bona fide virgin.” And in another report by Chicago Tribune circa 1996, “That the royal gynecologist certified Diana as a 20-year-old virgin bride merely added to her mystique—and her novelty." So, yes, Diana Spencer was indeed intact for royal wedding night.

Today, at this day and age, who cares? Given the fact that William and Kate have been dating for eight years and living under the same roof, too, it’s safe to assume that her virginity is no more—so what? If the Royal Family and Brits don’t mind, you shouldn’t too. Oh, what a difference a generation makes.

Who’s going?
The long guest list includes everyone who’s anyone in the world (see guest list here), and celebs like Rowan Atkinson, Sir Elton John, Guy Ritchie, Joss Stone, and David and Victoria Beckham.

Who’s paying?
The Queen will foot most of the bill. Prince Charles will pay for dinner and dance. And the Middletons, according to reports, will make a “contribution.”

Why the obsession?
Because this is the closest anyone can get to a fairytale. And because every girl, including that one lady you're currently crushing, want to be, had wanted to be, like Kate. Deep down every girl wants to have what she has—jewelry, clothes, a happy ending with Prince-fecking-Charming.

Continue reading below ↓

Besides, we feel that you must know your Friday night TV will be disrupted. The wedding will be shown live on ABC-5, GMA News TV, Studio 23, Talk TV, Velvet Channel—and that’s not counting the many TV specials that have been flooding your boob tube. And with two billion viewers expected to watch, advertisers will capitalize in every way possible.

Still sick of it? Think of it as a classy reality show played by beautiful people with manners.




WORDS BY AIMEE MORALES

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