You know what they say about Mondays: Mondays are awful and make us want to slam our foreheads on the wall. But since we care about your well-being, dear FHM reader, we'll do our best to distract you with some of the best/worst things we heard over the weekend.
Keep calm and, well, you know the rest!
1) BAD NEWS: This Week's Sad Comedian Award Goes To Kuya Jobert
Image via Pep.ph
Banana Nite regular, Jobert "Kuya Jobert" Austria, attempted to jump off Sogo Hotel along Quezon Avenue at 1 p.m. last Saturday, August 16. He claimed that he was only trying to get people's attention because his girlfriend's ex is sending him death threats.
Why a man would try to kill himself because some other man is trying to kill him defies logic, leaving some netizens to come up with the conclusion that Jobert's paranoia is caused by something other than the alleged death threats.
2) BAD NEWS: Suicide by jumping becomes contagious
Studies have been made regarding suicide and how it can be contagious. While we're not claiming that the recent high-profile death of Robin Williams has been a factor, we can't ignore the fact that there has been a spate of suicide attempts over the past days.
Apart from Kuya Jobert's failed attempt, two more life-takers appeared in the news over the weekend: one is a man who attempted to jump off of Quiapo Bridge (he was stopped by authorities) and a call center agent in Cebu City (he jumped to his death after a failed romance.)
Come on guys, keep your heads up.
3) BAD NEWS: Gilas Pilipinas loses by 50 points against Ukraine
(Image via Spin.ph)
The silver lining: The team gave it their all.
It's tough out there for our national team. Against host country, France, they lost only by seven points, giving themselves a major confidence boost. Unfortunately, the losses got worse: 22 down against Australia, and 50 down against Ukraine.
But hey, nowhere to go but up, right?
4) GOOD NEWS: Americans try Pinoy snacks
Viral experts, Buzzfeed, have been producing a series of Americans Try Pinoy Food videos. It started with Jollibee, and continued with street delicacies like isaw and kwek-kwek. And last Friday, our Caucasian counterparts tried out Haw Flakes, Mik-Mik powdered chocolate, and Oishi snacks, to name a few. Our suggestion: give these guys Soup No. 5 next time!
5) BAD NEWS: Car falls from the third floor of a parking building
(Image via Topgear.com.ph's Facebook page)
You know what's just as bad as people falling from high places? Cars falling from high places. In a scene straight out of our suitcase of illogical fears, a car fell from an elevated parking lot in Greenhills, and straight onto a few other cars down below.
The driver, said to be an executive from Basketball TV, fell asleep on the wheel due to a heart condition, stepped on the accelerator, and slammed his way to Internet infamy. Sheesh, what's next? Buses falling off the highway? Oh wait...