Despite the tremendous influx of stories like "Pacquiao-Mayweather finally happening!" and "Mayweather-Pacquiao FIGHT SET" all over our social networks, the truth is...an official announcement still has not happened—an announcement that will probably be as exciting as that time when people finally found a cure for smallpox.
For our own happiness, we've had to turn our attention to other things. Thankfully, a lot of exciting things happened over the weekend. Here are 10 of them in FHM's Best Of The Weekend!
THE WORLD'S RUDEST TEDDY BEAR RETURNS: The Ted 2 trailer is out!
In 2012, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane made a movie about a teddy bear that parties hard like a true bro. His name was Ted, and we loved him. Now, he's making a return, and he (and his best pal Mark Wahlberg) are ready to bring out the crass once more with semen jokes and all manners of FHM-approved vulgarity.
Watch the trailer here:
FREE SHOW: Woman pole dancing in a train goes viral
You know who else was practicing a measure of vulgarity the past weekend? The Thai woman in the video below, who thought it was a good idea to pole dance inside the train. We agreed.
While most normal people just use the vertical bar to prevent them from falling inside a moving train, this video proves that human ingenuity truly has no limits:
Video via Social+
AND THE (PORN) OSCAR GOES TO: Tila Tequila, who won the Best Sex Tape award in the Adult Video News (AVN) Awards
In a few weeks, the Academy Awards will be handing out trophies to the year's most deserving movies. But before that, we tuned in to the AVN Awards, said to be the porn equivalent of the Oscars.
Of chief interest is the winner for the Best Celebrity Sex Tape award, Tila Tequila, a former car show model who thought it best for her to explore other money-making avenues. Such as making an award-winning sex tape.
Image via Tila Tequila's Facebook page
While the awards show happened on January 24, 2015 at the Hard Rock Cafe in Las Vegas, the news of Tila's victory was only published last January 29 on Mirror.co.uk. In the same report, it was said that Tila's video beat Farrah 2: Backdoor, which stars Farrah Abraham of MTV's Teen Mom, and The Anti-Kin XXX, which stars Kris Humphries' ex-wife Myla Sinanaj.
Wondering what the title of Tila's movie is? It's Tila Tequila 2: Backdoored and Squirting, for all of you interested downloading acquiring it.
SINCE WE'RE ON THE TOPIC: Large-chested college girl films herself stripping in university library
A wannabe porn star by the name of Kendra Sunderland filmed herself in the Oregon State University library...doing things a girl shouldn't be doing in a library. These things include: stripping off, dancing very suggestively, flashing and masturbating.
Then she uploaded the whole thing on Pornhub, and it has since been shared in many other adult sites.
The lady in question is supposedly a former student of the university who merely wanted to follow in the footsteps of other college co-eds turned adult film actress like Mia Khalifa (Florida State University) and Belle Knox (Duke University).
Instead, the act is now probably going to earn the eager beaver a year's stay in a prison for public indecency. Quick, somebody call a reputable adult film company to save her!
FEELING LEFT OUT: Damian Lillard is reportedly pissed about being an All-Star snub
The NBA's Western Conference is so loaded with talent that a few All-Star snubs here and there can't be avoided. This year, one of these guys was Portland Trail Blazers' Damian Lillard who's averaging 21 points, six assists, and four boards a game en route to leading his team to the third best record in the conference.
He wasn't voted in by fans as a starter. He wasn't voted in by the coaches as a reserve.
In an article by SI.com, this was how he responded to that:
"I am not one of those guys that says ‘I should be in over this guy or that guy’ because I’m not a hater. I got respect for each guy that made the roster and I think they deserve to. But at the same time I feel really disrespected. That’s honestly how I feel. I’m definitely going to take it personal. I said I’d be pissed off about it, and I am.”
That was when he posted this:
I just want to thank everyone that felt I wasn't good enough. This isn't unfamiliar territory for me. It actually is what my life has been inspired by. I'd be lying if if I said I wasn't disappointed or that I don't feel disrespected, but it's not too much to handle. Not the first or last guy to be snubbed, but "you should have been there" is not good enough for me. But anyway, the reason I'm in these shoes is because I've always used the hand I was dealt to my advantage. A wise man once told me "it ain't always gone be peaches and cream, but somebody has to pay for the reason it's not...one way or another." #ImThankful #Real #NonAllStar #RipCity #YellowTapeContinue reading below ↓
A photo posted by Damian Lillard (@damianlillard) on
We feel you, bro. But we're also excited to see just what sort of revenge you're planning to inflict on this league after the All-Star break. Pick him up right now, fantasy NBA players!
MODEL DAD: Justin Timberlake kisses Jessica Biel's baby bump
A photo posted by Justin Timberlake (@justintimberlake) on
Justin Timberlake celebrated his 34th birthday over the weekend by posting a photo of his child that—judging by the size of wife Jessica Biel's belly—will be celebrating his/her birthday soon, too.
Alright, who here is man enough to start a "Timberlaking" meme?
A WOMAN'S DREAM INVENTION FINALLY COMES TRUE: Meet The Main Drain
Main what? That's Main Drain for you, guy who leaves the toilet seat up after peeing.
What exactly is it? It's a urinal that you can attach to your toilet. This means that guys don't have to lift up the toilet seat when peeing and put it back down after—a two-step process that men have yet to figure out how to do correctly.
This Kickstarter project solves that dilemma, to the cheers of women everywhere. So if you're tired of your mom screaming "Hoy Jun-jun, sabi ko sa'yo itataas mo yung toilet seat!" back up the crowd-funded pee-ngamajig here.
Actress Toni Gonzaga and director Paul Soriano—the proud owners of an eight-year showbiz relationship—finally announced that, yes, they're getting married. They made the announcement on Sunday, February 1, on The Buzz.
Tears overflowing for two people that God truly meant for each other. 😢😭 I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU, @celestinegonzaga, it is SOOO wonderful to be a wife to a good, good man and God has blessed us both with such good men. 💕 Congratulations to the future Mr. and Mrs. Paul and Toni Soriano!!!! I have nothing but love for you two. 💐💍 Thank you @micodelrosario for this priceless photo. 💕 A photo posted by Bianca Gonzalez Intal (@iamsuperbianca) on
Tears overflowing for two people that God truly meant for each other. 😢😭 I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU, @celestinegonzaga, it is SOOO wonderful to be a wife to a good, good man and God has blessed us both with such good men. 💕 Congratulations to the future Mr. and Mrs. Paul and Toni Soriano!!!! I have nothing but love for you two. 💐💍 Thank you @micodelrosario for this priceless photo. 💕
A photo posted by Bianca Gonzalez Intal (@iamsuperbianca) on
The engagement, though, actually happened on January 21, a day after Toni's 31st birthday at their family home in Taytay, Rizal. And yet again, we come to the realization that yes, we're officially seeing another FHM crush get hitched, which is always a bittersweet moment around here.
GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK: Anderson Silva makes triumphant return
One of the UFC's greatest champs, Anderson Silva, finally made his return to the Octagon after an injury-forced leave that lasted for a year and a month.
Silva broke his leg in a rematch against eventual conqueror Chris Weidman on December 20, 2013. But like Manny Pacquiao recovering from his knockout against Juan Manuel Marquez, Silva made his own comeback journey. And it concluded with a victory against Nick Diaz in a non-title fight, The Spider's first match in eight years without a belt on the line.
There was no smashing knockout or amazing submission, nor was there any memorable action. But for UFC fans, this was a comeback worth remembering still, if only to see a legend fight again on two working legs.
Diaz clowned around early in the fight, as you'll see in the video below, but Anderson was able to make him pay, getting a unanimous decision victory from the judges. The tear-filled ending was probably the best part, and provided a nice shot of mortality of someone who used to be invincible.