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FHM's Not-So-Chinese Lucky Charms For 2014!

Hey, constantly-down-on-luck dude! Here's a list of the best and craziest pampasuwertes for 2014!
by Ron Jay Eduvas | Jan 9, 2014
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In case you still didn't know, 2014 is the Year of the Wooden Horse. This means that those of you who were born under the Chinese Zodiac Signs of the Ox, Sheep, and Monkey won’t really need to stay up all night to get lucky.

However, Feng Shui experts say that folks born under the stars of the Tiger, Boar, Dragon, Snake, and Dog might have a few not-so-good experiences this year. Sucks to be them!

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Since we hope a smooth two-oh-fourteen for all of us, we searched far and wide for the best and craziest pangontra-malas lucky charms to help summon the good fortunes possessed by that mythical Wooden Horse!

Below, our picks of the greatest not-so-Chinese (medyo lang) pampaswertes! Cross your fingers they'll work—or at least give you the confidence to tackle the next 360 or so days.

For A Successful Year: A Horse Statue/Figurine

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Feng Shui experts say that any kind of horse figurine will do—be it made from jade, gold, white (ivory or ceramic), and wood.  What's important is that its limbs/legs are in an upwards motion or galloping form, as this symbolizes victory and success.

For A Healthy And Prosperous 2014: "Hulu" or Chinese Gourd

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"Hulu" or Chinese Gourds are believed to be where the Chinese gods keep the "elixir of life" that makes them immortal. It's said to be able to absorb and suck in evil spirits, keeping them away from us mere mortals. Items with a hulu are believed to be enhancers of good health, longevity, fertility, and prosperity.

To Keep All The Luck Inside Your Home: Horseshoe

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Nailing a horseshoe on your door is an ancient superstition still practiced today. Lore says that pinning one upwards (with its "ends" on top) prevents good luck from "spilling" out of your abode. And since 2014 is the year of the Wooden Horse, we say bagay na bagay!

Protection Against The Akyat-Bahays and Martilyo Gangs: The Blue Rhino

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No, we're not talking about the doobie strain of the same name, so better wipe those grins off your pothead faces. Blue Rhinos serve as the ultimate bodyguard against thieves and robbers...because they can come to life and beat the shit out of evil-doers.

Kidding aside, Blue Rhinos are one of the "Earth elements" considered to be very effective this year (another example is wood). So, if you want a charm against violence and robbery, better equip yourselves with one of these bad boys.

NEXT:  The crazy charms begin on the next page!

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