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FHM True Stories: Mixed Signals

Things don’t always turn out your way…
| Aug 21, 2015
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One of the most frustrating times in my life was during a one-year relationship with my ex-girlfriend where I didn’t get past second base. So when she invited me to have dinner at her place to celebrate our anniversary, I prepared myself for one heck of a night. I bought two boxes of condoms and trimmed my pubic hair.

I arrived a bit early, when she was still showering. I told her I’d prepare the table while she got dressed. I could barely hide my excitement as I watched how her door slowly opened, revealing her in her...casual clothes? There she was in shorts and a T-shirt, while I stood by totally dressed to the nines, with a rose in my hand. I gave her a crooked smile and she laughed at me, asked me why I was so dressed up. I told her that I thought that we were having a “romantic dinner.” That was when she looked at the table and told me, “Oh no, my parents are coming tonight. They missed you, that’s why I invited you for dinner.”

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I could already feel the sweat on my face. I felt like she knew what I had hoped for that night so we both laughed about it instead. She hugged and kissed me while saying, “Thanks for the flowers, honey. I love you.”
Troy, via Facebook

Illustration Gilbert Daroy
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