Few things in life are more terrifying than having a flying cockroach in the same room with you. As much as it hurts our self-esteem, you gotta admit, walang machong lalaki sa lumilipad na ipis.
We're all familiar of the dread a scene like this builds inside of us:
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But why the heck do cockroaches end up in our houses in the first place? There should be a way to somehow stop them from infesting our homes, right? Well, you’re in luck: We did all the homework for you!
With that in mind, for this first entry in the The FHM Man Of The House Guide, we take on these icky roaches and share with you tips on how to ipis-proof your place. It's about time, yes?
STORE FOOD PROPERLY
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Roaches love to eat, so don’t tempt them by leaving your meals unguarded. Store your leftovers in airtight containers and properly seal food in plastic bags. And if you’re the kind of lazy ass who does the dishes every three days, well, don’t be surprised if you’ve got an army of critters swarming in your kitchen.
THROW AWAY OLD STUFF
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See that stack of scratch paper in the corner of your room? Once it gets just a bit damp and moist, it’ll be a very nice breeding ground for cockroaches. Same goes for all the other biodegradable stuff lying around your house like newspapers and cardboard.
You see, roaches love damp, dark places—they use these spots for breeding, laying eggs, and chilling out away from our nervous eyes. Our tip: Sell them all to the magbobote STAT!
(For more tips on what to throw away, click here!)
DISPOSE OF YOUR GARBAGE REGULARLY
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Roaches like to hang out in garbage because of the abundant supply of decaying organic matter and tight spaces where they can crawl into. Make sure you won’t find a creepy-crawly surprise when you throw stuff out by taking out your garbage as often as possible, keeping the bins closed, and cleaning your trash cans regularly.
CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR PET
Yeah, your cute dog or cat is a potential ipis magnet. Make sure your pet’s dish is always clean and free from leftovers and dispose of their poop properly as these things, when left lying around, serve as beacons where roaches congregate.
MIND YOUR KITCHEN AND BATHROOM
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It’s important to keep these two rooms as clean and dry as possible since these are the places where cockroaches usually show up. Clean up after cooking and eating, mop up spills as soon as possible, and pay extra special attention to your stove as roaches thrive on greasy food. As for your bathroom, make sure to regularly clean your toilet and scrub the sink (especially its underside) to remove all the nasty stuff we produce (e.g. dead skin cells, poop, urine) that attract roaches.
TIDY YOUR YARD
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Keep your yard clean as it has a lot of potential to be a cockroach hotspot. Sweep it regularly, dispose of leaves, garbage, and dead animals, and place your trash as far away from your house and garage as possible. And while you’re at it, you should also get rid of that pile of scrap wood in your yard as it’s a refuge for these flying nightmares.
CLEAN YOUR COUCH
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Your sofa’s crevices serve as collecting areas where stuff like bread crumbs, rice grains, and scraps from the last junk food you ate accumulate. So don't be surprised if a wild roach suddenly appears while you're sitting pretty on your couch. It doesn't want to be pet; it's after the grub that's all around you. So, clean it up regularly by removing the cushions (if you can) and dusting every nook and cranny.
SEAL SMALL OPENINGS IN YOUR HOME
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Cockroaches and other insects usually come from the outside, so one safeguard against them is to ensure that they can’t get inside in the first place. Get your trusty tube of sealant and make sure all the cracks in your walls and floors, as well as the gaps around your doors and windows, are filled up.
USE BORIC ACID
If you’ve got an infestation on your hands, you can kill off the pesky critters using boric acid. Combine it with butter and sugar to make a paste, form it into little balls, and place your bait in places where roaches usually lurk like near your stove and under your sink. Be careful with handling it though, as it can irritate your skin (use gloves!). Also, make sure kids won't be able to get to it. They might mistake it for a candy on the floor, you know.
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If you can’t beat the roaches at their game, you could always shoo ‘em away with a bug spray. If your roach problem is really bad, you might have to schedule a major spraying that involves a huge area of your man cave. We recommend using a gas mask and having nice ventilation because bug spray stench can be overwhelming and, sometimes, can even cause nausea.
Also, dispose of the corpses properly (there's bound to be a shitload of them after your insect massacre) as it can attract live cockroaches.