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How to Get a Job

This month's theme: teaching essential life lessons through stupid stories
by Mikey Agulto | Mar 2, 2012
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After sorting through a stack of resumes an office manager at Wal-Mart found four people who were equally qualified for a job opening: an American, a Russian, an Australian, and a Filipino. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine who would get the job.

As the four sat around the conference table the manager asked, “What is the fastest thing you know?”
Dave, the American, replied, "A thought. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian. "A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed."

He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light," he said.

The manager then turned to Eleuterio, the Filipino. "After hearing the three previous answers sir, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing is diarrhea," replied Eleuterio.

"What?!" said the stunned manager. The others were already giggling in their seats. "Oh, I can explain, sir," continued Eleuterio. "You see the other day my tummy was feeling bad and so I ran to the CR. But before I could think, blink or turn on the light, 'taena, sir, I already had shit in my pants!"

rainer_barcarse, by email

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