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Today In (Weird) Sex News: Man Dies After Screwing A Scarecrow

Sex dolls are just so outdated.
by Mary Rose A. Hogaza | Apr 6, 2015
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Scarecrow looks creepy, aye? But would you find it attractive once it’s all dolled up?

scarecrowGIF via

For Jose Alberto, an Argentinian shepherd, the answer was definitely YES! Unfortunately, he died while consummating his attraction with one.

A week ago, Alberto’s neighbors complained of a foul smell coming from his house in San Jose de Balcare in the Argentina's Buenos Aires province. Police decided to break in and found the 58-year-old man’s body lying down beside a scarecrow that was wearing a wig, red lipstick, and a dildo.

Investigators outside the home of Mr. Alberto
Image from El Diario Balcare

“I initially thought there were two bodies but then I realized one was a scarecrow wearing lipstick and a long-haired wig,” prosecutor Rodolfo Moure said in this report. “It was lying next to the deceased and had a six-inch strap-on penis.”

Further investigation put the time of death at between 24 to 48 hours before the body was found. There were no signs of violence, disorder, or robbery.

Image from El Diario Balcare

Initial findings also suggest that Alberto's death can be directly linked to "some erotic game." Reports also mention “La mort d’amour” or death in the middle of sexual intercourse. This happens due to the physical strain of a pleasurable activity. As of this writing, the Argentinian police are awaiting for the results of an autopsy.

The incident came as a surprise for everyone in the neighborhood as the victim was somewhat of a recluse. His fellow residents shared that Alberto lived all his life alone and had no friends or visitors. He was also not a techie person—he had no computers and smartphones.

First, there was Emma McCabe, the 31-year-old English woman who fancies sex with a tree, then this; we're not one to judge but we'd like to reiterate something very important about sex (be it with flora or a doll made to scare birds away): STAY SAFE!

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