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Metta World Peace: What Now, Brah?

It ain't over til it's over
by Mikey Agulto | Jul 15, 2013
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So it's official: Metta World Peace will no longer be wearing the purple and gold next season. The rumor went on for a good couple of days, but the Los Angeles Lakers have finally waived the veteran forward via the NBA's amnesty provision, officially making him an unrestricted free agent.

World Peace was set to make $7.7 million this coming season but was dumped as the Lakers try to trim its luxury tax payment. While Metta is reportedly garnering interest from premiere teams such as New York, Chicago, and Oklahoma, the former Defensive Player of the Year is not in a hurry to join another squad right away. Rumor has it that he's even hinting at a possible retirement, or even pursuing his career in China.

But hey, we know the guy will do just fine. He's a got a lot of stuff going on for him. And have you forgotten? He's got a darned psychiatrist on his side! The crazy dude's going to be alright.

Still, to give him a little help, we've listed down possible career options for Ron, err, Metta, when his playing days are over:

1. Pursue a gig as a celebrity judge at a beauty pageant and pick the winning candidate based on their response to the now-trademarked question, "What is the key to world peace?" 

Metta World Peace

2. Publish his very own big book of baby names and take the millenial generation by storm with clever monikers such as Mike Litoris and Harry Kane.

Metta World Peace

3. Follow Prince's footsteps
and pursue a music career under the moniker "The Artest Formally Known As Ron."

Metta World Peace

4. Venture into the glutathione business
and try his darnest not to look racist about it.
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