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20 Things You Do In The MRT That Make People Want To Kill You

We all know the MRT please stop making it suckier. Suck more. Sucky-sucky. Whatever, just please stop doing these when you're inside the train!
by Ron Jay Eduvas | Jun 4, 2015
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The Metro Rail Transit (MRT) sucks. Its service has been ludicrous for such a long time that commuters have pretty much accepted their grim fate. From snake-like queues to malfunctioning trains, it seems like the MRT's problematic operation has it all.

This meme best describes it:

If you're one of the many warriors commuters who need to take the dreaded transit just so you can avoid EDSA traffic (which is a different circle of hell itself) and get to work on time, you know that you'll need an enormous amount of patience to survive the ordeal and get to your destination without murdering a fellow passenger. Taking the MRT, especially during rush hour, is like half-heartedly participating in a human-canned-sardines experiment.

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So how do we ensure that people won't be hulking out? Here are 20 dreadful things we all do (which we may be aware or unaware of) inside the MRT that can get us punched/kicked/stabbed.

   Camping in the area near the door. That space is prime real estate and some of us would do anything in our power just to stay there, even if it means becoming a huge hindrance to the people going in and out of the train.

2)   Seriously, why do you find it so hard to go inside the middle part of the train? (Aka the only place where you can feel the A/C and move your limbs without having anyone cursing you.)

3)   If you feel serious bloodlust every time someone grazes you, even if it's by accident. Chill, bro. You're inside a crowded train, not Sparta.

Your thoughts when someone bumps you

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4)   If you’re hogging an entire pole for yourself by leaning on it. It's not your private property so share it with everybody, please. They're also fighting for dear life balance.

5)   If you sit like you're on a sofa—spread eagle, feet stretched and all. FYI, your balls ain't that big, so you don't really need to spread your legs that wide.

6)   If you nonchalantly leave your bags and/or stuff on the floor. Spacing is precious inside the train, so we bet your stuff really won't mind if you carry them and leave the floor for other passengers to use for footing, right?

7)   If you suddenly start a business transaction/get flirty with lovey on the phone—in a very loud voice. Can't it wait?

8)   When you and your group of friends/colleagues start gossiping with each other inside the train.

"Bucky, dali! Dito sa itaas pala maluwag!"

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9)   If you start having a picnic by peeling oranges and sharing Boy Bawang with your peers. #TrueStory

   When you forbid other passengers to breathe...with your skunky body odor or by spraying all 750ml of your perfume before riding the train.

11)   If you think your bulky backpack isn't being a nuisance to others, well, you're dead wrong. So stop swinging from side to side and just stay put. Your added width is already making it hard for others to move. 

12)   If you listen to music on full volume without earphones. (Or if you have one but we can still pretty much hear Ariana Grande's "Break Free" on repeat.)

13)   If you keep on making eye contact with a total stranger, the whole freaking ride! That's creepy.

14)   If you're a train pervert.

15)   If you're a girl and you judge every guy as a train pervert.

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16)   Every time you forget that two things cannot exist at the same time and space. That means, if a person is already occupying a certain spot, you really cannot force yourself in his space, unless you want to have a black eye.

17)   If you keep on peeking at someone else's phone.

18)   If you're a smelly drunk who passed by the guards and don't care if you're stinkin' up the place. At least have some decency and take some mints, bro.

19)   If you always act like it's your first time to ride the MRT. It is compressed chaos and carbon dioxide sauna rolled into one, so stop the drama. Or go grab a taxi and relish the traffic of EDSA.

20)   Stop being a germophobe. So while we understand that the MRT isn't really a place that screams cleanliness and has an unbreathable atmosphere that's akin to hell, at least try to acknowledge that you're with fellow human beings that are stuck in a moving steel inferno. They feel the same disgust, too.

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Image via PUP Memes; GIFs via Giphy
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