We all love an assertive woman—one who knows her worth and won’t let anyone walk all over her. But when it comes to the bedroom, will you let a woman walk all over you?
Well, that’s what you can expect from a dominatrix. She’s the stuff kinky fantasies are made of.
In a BDSM relationship, a female dominatrix is called a "domme." It is pronounced "dom-may" to stress the difference between the female and male dominant (dom).
In the series Fifty Shades of Grey, one of the protagonists, Christian Grey, admitted that he learned the art of BDSM when he was enthralled by a cougar domme who introduced him to the secret world he'll soon be obsessed with.
If you’ve never encountered a domme, or if you still have hesitations about broaching the BDSM play with your partner, then fret not. FHM November 2015 Idol, Grey Gomez, is here to guide you through the kinky world of dominant-submissive bed play.
We’ve listed down the top questions that are possibly running in your mind, and found the best answers to your sexy queries. Grey, meanwhile, gives some visual help to encourage you.
Let's get whippin', shall we?
1) CAN ANYONE BE A DOMINATRIX?
No. She must be confident, know what she likes, and take charge of the whole BDSM play for her erotic amusement. Like any BDSM participant, a domme should always be someone you trust, and both of you should be in it for mutual pleasure. Not all girls are like that, yes?
2) IS THE STEREOTYPE ABOUT WHAT A DOMME WEARS REAL?
Yes. The black leather bodysuit and strappy thigh-high stilettos are iconic in the BDSM culture, and every domme has a variety of this outfit. Corsets, fishnet stockings, and tight lingerie can also be worn. Get these as sexy presents for your partner, so she can get in the mood and take on the fantasy role as your "master."
3) OKAY, WHAT WILL I WEAR?
Whatever your domme tells you! She might want you in a costume, or she might have you strip down to just your undies. She might also want you to be naked. It really doesn't matter, you're her slave after all.
4) WILL YOU ALWAYS BE TIED UP?
No. Bondage won’t always be part of your sexual activities, but it does make things more exciting, doesn’t it? If she’s a newbie, make sure she knows how to tie you up securely but not tight enough to cut off your circulation! You can also read more about erotic bondage here.
5) WILL YOU BE WHIPPED EVERY TIME?
No—unless you’re a big fan of getting flogged, and a dose of sadomasochism turns you on every single time. So stop holding your balls; you won’t always get a good whipping, flogging, and other painful activities. This is not the senakulo, buddy. Perhaps, on some days, you get some hot spanking, or you might get something more torturous, like not being allowed to come unless she allows you to. Good luck.
6) CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR DOMME?
Yes—if she lets you. There will be times that she wants to be pleasured by you, and you will find yourself wanting to do anything you can to ravish and satisfy her.
7) DO YOU NEED TO FOLLOW EVERY THING SHE SAYS?
Yes. She’s in control. If you disobey her, better expect some punishment. Just make sure to remember all the beatings she'll give you. So when you switch roles, you can give her the same amount of (sexy) spanking.
8) SHOULD YOU ALWAYS EXPECT PAIN AND PUNISHMENT?
No. If you’ve been a good boy, she will reward you wonderfully. Of course, if she looks as hot as Grey in the gallery below, what other reward can you ask for?
Photography Ejay Leung Stylist J-Em Sta. Ana Makeup Kristine Ramos Hair Borge Aloba of At East |Jed Root BDSM props and materials Lucky Doll Pin-Up Lingerie. Visit them at www.luckydollstore.com