Remember how the Fifty Shades Of Grey franchise took the female world by storm? How every woman dreamed of experiencing the same pleasure Anastasia enjoys every time she’s in session with Mr. Christian Grey? And how the thought of your girl possibly being into Bondage and Discipline, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) jolted your brain’s kinky meter?
Yeah, crazy times, we know.
The Fifty Shades hype has long died down, but the fantasies it awakened are still powerful enough to stir your loins every once in a while. Admit it: The sight of a girl with accoutrements of leather, bound in ropes or cuffs, satisfyingly awaiting her fate in compromising positions, makes you curious about BDSM.
Is it really just for sex freaks? Do girls really enjoy getting cuffed? And lastly, should you really try it? Fret not, because this month’s FHM Idol, Grey Gomez, will teach you more about this popular-yet-mysterious fetish.
We asked the pretty morena about her BDSM background, and she reacted just like how most Pinays would—a bit hesitant, because of how taboo the topic can be.
"Well first of all, I don't like to judge people. But to those guys who practice this stuff, I guess, they're exploring and enjoying their life," shares Grey. "Besides, there's nothing wrong with it! Girls love pleasure! And we do love doing exciting things."
And being the cool girl that she is, she eventually let us in on her sexy secrets.
Have you tried BDSM?
That's a hard question! Can I lie? Ha ha! Okay, I’ve tried it! And I liked it! I found that it was an awesome experience. BDSM is sexy! I consider it as a part of the human experience. We're here to explore and experience life di ba?!
Are you the dominant or the submissive type?
I tried both! And I like both! It really depends on the moment.
How would you compare your experience to how BDSM was portrayed in Fifty Shades of Grey?
The movie is just a fantasy! Fantasy is nice, but the real world is always better!
Will you try it again?
Definitely! I'll try it again and again! Ha ha!
You heard her the woman; we think it's time you also try BDSM. We start you off with a primer. Just promise us that you’ll be a good disciple, and you’ll get to reap some awesome reward. Be naughty, and you might get a good whipping or two.
First off, some facts: BDSM is a catch-all phrase for several erotic practices, including bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism. The draw is that intense pleasure you get from the thrill of each aspect. It's more than just foreplay or kinky role plays, the practice can actually be seen as a culture, and it doesn’t always have to involve sex.
However, if you do want to try it to spice up your relationship or to take a little break from all the vanilla sex you've been having, you have to ease your way into it and take the necessary precautions. Start by identifying the role you want to play. Will you be the dominant (a.k.a. top or "dom") or the submissive (a.k.a. bottom or "sub") one? You can also be a "switch" like Grey and take on whichever role you like during a session.
THE BEST WAY TO START: BONDAGE
It may be intimidating to start with bondage, especially since it could go wrong so easily and end up being a horribly painful experience. So here’s a guide (and some of Grey’s tips) to maximize pleasure and minimize risk:
1. Go with cloth, not metal. Use socks, a necktie, or even lingerie to tie up your partner to a bedpost, a chair, or any sturdy furniture. Make sure the knots are secure and quite restrictive—but never too tight that it stops blood circulation already! Save the sessions with cuffs, spreaders, and other toys for when you’re already a pro.
2. Use a blindfold. Blocking eyesight heightens a person’s others senses—especially touch, so every kiss, stroke with your fingers or tongue, and thrust will feel loads more delicious.
3. Switch it up. Experiment and try being the one tied up, too. There’s nothing sexier than your girl being all dominant in the bedroom and having her way with you, which leads us to…
DOS AND DON'TS FOR THE DOMINATRIX
Your girl wants to be the dom; be ready for a wild ride!
Here are some reminders:
1. Don’t be afraid. Your girl won’t do it if she isn’t confident that she can pull it off. She’ll tease you, even dress up for the role, and threaten you with punishments like not allowing you to finish until she says you can… And it’s all in the name of one hot amazing sexual experience.
2. Prioritize safety. Of course, no matter how hot as hell you think it would be, you can never skimp on safety. Agree on a safe word that would signal your partner to stop because you’ve reached your limit or you’re in too much pain. For your safety shears during bondage (a must-have in every session), look for bandage scissors with rounded tips, so you can easily be freed from restraints with minimal risk of injury.
3. Don’t hesitate to ask. If there’s stuff you want to try or if there are things that make you uncomfortable as a sub, be open to your partner about it. It’ll strengthen your whole dynamic as a couple, and you’ll end up having much more pleasurable BDSM experiences.
Now, click on the gallery below and discover more of Grey's sexy secrets!
Photography Ejay Leung Stylist J-Em Sta. Ana Makeup Kristine Ramos Hair Borge Aloba of At East |Jed Root BDSM props and materials Lucky Doll Pin-Up Lingerie. Visit them at www.luckydollstore.com